Toxic Friendships can become harmful and you have to decide if it is time to end your relationship. Friendships run deep and this is one of the reasons why it can be so hard to say goodbye to an old friend. However, life takes people in different directions and often not at the same time. While there is nothing wrong with staying friends with those that live a completely different lifestyle than you, it can be hard to remain in a friendship that is actually doing you more harm than good. This is known as a toxic friendship. Below are three key questions to ask yourself when determining if it’s time to kiss your friendship goodbye.
Do we have anything in common anymore?
Ten years ago you and your friend may have been inseparable. You may have lived together, travelled together, partied together and more. But things do change and nowadays you may not have these things in common anymore. Being a mum is number one and many people without children do not understand this. If you find that the things you had in common in the past – partying, bar hopping, picking up men, dancing til dawn, for example – are not part of your life anymore and you are having trouble finding new activities to share, then it might be time to move on.
Does spending time with her make me feel bad about my life?
This is a big problem and also a very common one. It is very natural to feel a little bit jealous of other people, especially if your girlfriend appears to be living the high life. However, there is a big difference between flaunting this success and living it. If your friend appears to be flaunting her life choices and ridiculing yours, then it’s time to say bye-bye. You should never have to defend your choice to be a mum, to quit your job, to cook for your family or anything else. You should also never leave a lunch date with a girlfriend feeling sick to your stomach with guilt, resentment, confusion or anger.
Is the friendship causing strain to my relationship with my family?
Often times when a friend bashes your lifestyle, you will take it out on your spouse. If your friend has made you feel bad about yourself in anyway, then it can be easy to blame your husband for not making enough money, for working too much, for not being supportive enough, etc. At the end of the day, family comes first which means anything that is causing strain to the relationship with your children and your partner needs to be re-evaluated.
Of course, deciding to terminate a friendship can be tricky. You may wish to be brutally honest about it and tell them the truth or you may wish to slowly faze them out of your life. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to getting out of a toxic friendship and you may have some mixed feelings. But, in the long run, it is the best thing for you emotionally and physically.
Another thing to always remember is that just because you and your girlfriend may not still be friends, you will always share the memories. She may not be good for you anymore, but there were plenty of good times in the past that will stick with you forever, even if she doesn’t.