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Friend upset because I didn't donate to their gofundme page

Long story short... My friend's husband lost his job two weeks ago. She is telling everyone this sob story that they won't be able to afford their mortgage and living expenses in about a couple of weeks. They set up this gofundme account so people can donate money to help. Problem is that when he was still employed they used to spend like there is no tomorrow. They still have a almost brand new boat, 3 cars, Brand new iPhones etc. She keeps hinting that I should donate something but I just don't feel it is right. What do you ladies think? And I guess my other question is... what is everyone's backup plan? Hubby and I have enough to survive for 3-4 months keeping the same lifestyle, probably an year if we make some dramatic changes.

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Answers (21)

No I wouldn't donate and I wouldn't feel bad about it.
They can sell off their luxurious items.
If hubby lost his job he'd go and work for my dads company. If that didn't pan out we'd both try and get jobs (I'm a sahm)
And if that didn't work out we'd be screwed because we have just spent our savings fixing up our car

OP Her husband is an IT guy and refuses to find any other sort of work. It wouldn't be not of my business at all, but now they are expecting us and the rest of our friends to chip in and "help them through this difficult time".
helpful (2) 
 If there are not eligible for Centrelink then they arent doing it that tough. Tell them you can't spare any cash
helpful (3) 
Answered by OP

And how easily people are setting up gofundme pages for absurd reasons. I swear I saw someone sharing their gofundme page at my little towns Facebook buy swap and sell page. They wanted to raise money to buy a 7 seater, because baby #4 was on the way. I was like... WTF? Can't afford babies, don't have them!

 There was some news report about donating your leftover nappies for people who can't afford nappies. One family was interviewed and said 'yeah it's really helped we didn't have to buy nappies, now we are trying for another baby so will contact them again for newborn nappies' WTF??? Can't afford them don't have them!
helpful (2) 
 Sometimes shit happens and pregnancies occur. Most people want to be able to afford paying their own ways. Occasionally however, thibgs go beyond their control and a baby results (ripped condom; being on antibiotics and the pill; implant failed)
helpful (2) 

Even if they didn't have all those luxuries i wouldn't donate, peaople have their own financial commitments and i certainly wouldn't expect my friends to donate to me. I'm all for helping a friend out in a difficult time but in other ways like inviting them over for a meal or offering to look after their kids for interviews or a day while they're at work but not giving them money. Offer to help them clean their house so they can sell it to find something more affordable instead lol

 Exactly. This happens all the time. I donate to causes such as parents have cancer and kids need financial help.
helpful (0) 

Man that is beyond rude! They should be selling luxury items. I'd only be helping them if they were completely destitute! Even then we aren't really well off enough to give money. I'd probably bake some meals for them or buy some essential grocery items

 Agree with this, especially the bit about "beyond rude". They have such an entitled attitude. What has become of pride ? No, just beg off other people (with a bit of subtle bullying thrown in), rather than tighten belts, sell luxuries, or look for different lines of work.
helpful (0) 

If they knew it was coming and didnt try to change anything to make it last longer id have no sympathy either. No 2 people "need" 3 cars. They can sell one.
Does he have any physical skills at all? Could advertise to weed gardens/mow/ simple handyman jobs. They could even offer a dog walking service.
Do they have any unneeded decent furniture or equipment that would still fetch decent money second hans?

1st thing i would have done if i knew i was being made redundant would be to apply for every single freaking job i could until something stuck. Once i had 'a job" id concentrate on finding one in my field if that job wasnt.


If i had friends and they werent trying those things above theyd be getting nothing from me.
We live pay cheque to pay cheque with a little bit saved in case we need it one day (saved from when i was earning more than quadruple what im currently earning per week).

If they were trying those things above i wouldn't just donate money id just use their services instead of doing it myself to help them out.

 Exactly this.
helpful (3) 
OP I agree. They are nice people though and I wouldn't mind staying friends... But it seems everyone these days feel so "entitled" to things, if I can put it that way. My husband tried to talk to her partner about maybe getting a job working for my father-in-law company (it would be a "handy" sort of work, paying alright money) and he said he would rather keep on looking for it jobs.
helpful (1) 
 Have you asked them in a friendly manner whether they have considered selling off a car/boat while they get through this situation to cover the mortgage?
helpful (1) 
 ^ haha I'm sure they would really appreciate that!
helpful (0) 
 It jobs are fast dissolving
helpful (1) 
Answered by OP

I guess what annoys me is that they knew it was coming, and pretty much didn't do anything different to try and save some $$.

Don't donate and don't even feel bad AT ALL! I would in fact it off anyone who asked for money and have done so in the past. You're not responsible for other ADULTS' lifestyle.

Our mortgage is low enough that we can get by on Centrelink. It would not be comfortable at all. But that would be our ultimate backup.

We’ve never been without work. We’ve both picked up work in hospitality when we’ve lost jobs. Or the job wasn’t paying enough.

Everything we have we own except our house. But our mortgage is lower than rent would be.

I’m not very sympathetic to people who “can’t find a job” there is always work. Always.
They can’t find a job they want is usually the truth.

We have a gofundme page that a friend set up for us when our son was diagnosed with leukaemia and it has been invaluable however we also sold my car to help cover costs and we certainly don't expect anyone especially friends and family to donate anything. My husband got made redundant and he just went out and found another job. It's not hard to sell off a car etc to help you cover bills.

 You're doing a great job in a tigh time mum, best of luck
helpful (1) 
 This is a ligitimate reason for a gofundme page. Hope all is going well and your son is ok. Hope you and your hubby are coping as well as you can.
helpful (3) 

I have a go fund me page for my 11yo daughter (to buy an insulin pump) but I have never and would never pressure, hint, or guilt trip friends and family to donate!!!
Dont donate, and don't feel bad about not donating. From what you have written they are not in dire straights yet, they have options (selling the boat, one of the cars, another job, etc). It honestly sounds like they are trying to get other people to pay for a caviar budget for them when they could get by perfectly well on hamburgers.
Just my opinion Hun. Have a good day!

 That's quite different. It's an essential item for life support. I donated to a cousins page (set up by her daughter) but the money was all returned cos my cousin (a third cousin) said he could manage the cost of the op (Italians and super proud.). We felt bad cos we mentioned it (the campaign) to his mother and it got pulled pretty quick after that.
helpful (1) 

One or both of them is just gonna have to get another job. I wouldn't donate either, and I don't understand why she's created a gofundme page because he is out of work. It makes it seem like he's lazy and wants to be supported to do nothing rather than actually get off his butt and work. Even if jobs are hard to find where you live, he can work away, or sell an.unnecessary luxury item. Or hey there's centrelink lol

This it what Centrelink is for. We already donate money through taxes. Apply for the fools like everyone else. They sound self entitled and not very appreciative of what they do have. Which is much more than most people.

 Dole*** not fools.... 😂😂😂
helpful (1) 
 Tax is a legal requirement, not a donation
helpful (0) 

don't donate at all. they need to grow up and live in the real world, and both get jobs.

If he is being choosy about employment, they can suck it up and sell the boat and one car which should do them until he finds something to his liking! No way would I donate, people are so entitled and irresponsible. Someone who doesn't have money for food etc; is another story. I'm in a hard position but sold my car, try to get extra work hours and continue to sell things when bills come in. I would be be so embarrassed to ask for help.

You are all a bunch of tight arses. If a friend set up a GoFundMe campaign, and if they were not in a position to pay (no savings, etc)...I WOULD help them out. Even if it was just a $10 donation. You are all a bunch of cold hearted twats and thank god I don't have any of you for friends.