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My partner and I are going through a rough patch. He just admitted that for most of our marriage on and off he has been
Answered 4 years ago
My partner and I are going through a rough patch. He just admitted that for most of our marriage on and off he has been unhappy and wanted to leave.
He also had an emotional affair and later admitted that he wanted to leave me for her but that the other woman didn’t want to leave her partner. He swears that things have changed and that he now wants it to work out. As I a fool to believe him? Please help me.
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ANSWER
4 years ago
Emotional affairs are often worse he must of loved her a lot. He is basically saying if she asked him to leave you, he would be with her now, that’s really hard to accept. Wishing you the best.
ANSWER
4 years ago
Can anyone else please provide their opinion? Is it just that he doesn't want me? And that he possibly never has? Could there be any other reason?
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REPLY
4 years ago
I was with my ex 13 years.
Before i met him he was chasing a girl with no interest in him, i guess i came along and was a backup option. He cheated multiple times throughout this time. Sometimes he'd come home from a "weekend away with the boys" and announce we should break up, but by the end of the week he'd want us to stay together.
Being dumb and young and naive, we just let this cycle continue.
I now realize he was away with another girl, he thought grass was greener, want me to leave, but i guess the other party wasn't interested, so i there to "rebound" with. If that makes sense?
Anyway eventually we did break up. He is free now to sleep around, which he does, and he never makes any new relationships official or exclusive, everything is very casual to him. Im happy that he realised he's just not the long term commitment type. Maybe one day he'll find someone he wants to commit wholey too. But don't let yourself be someone's backup/rebound option!
Before i met him he was chasing a girl with no interest in him, i guess i came along and was a backup option. He cheated multiple times throughout this time. Sometimes he'd come home from a "weekend away with the boys" and announce we should break up, but by the end of the week he'd want us to stay together.
Being dumb and young and naive, we just let this cycle continue.
I now realize he was away with another girl, he thought grass was greener, want me to leave, but i guess the other party wasn't interested, so i there to "rebound" with. If that makes sense?
Anyway eventually we did break up. He is free now to sleep around, which he does, and he never makes any new relationships official or exclusive, everything is very casual to him. Im happy that he realised he's just not the long term commitment type. Maybe one day he'll find someone he wants to commit wholey too. But don't let yourself be someone's backup/rebound option!
REPLY
4 years ago
Same as the above response. Spent our relationship telling me he wasn’t ready to settle down, didn’t see us as long term, was insanely jealous that I had slept with more people than he has (I stupidly told him) and it just destroyed everything. We broke up (thank god- in hindsight why did I stay so long) and he got to sleep around, what he always wanted. Don’t keep wasting you time. If he has to work that hard to be with you then do you even want him?
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4 years ago
^^ OMG yes
We had two kids, i wanted to get married, he said too much commitment.
What he meant was why marry the cow when the milks for free and i can also tell everyone I'm not married and have all their milk as well?
We had two kids, i wanted to get married, he said too much commitment.
What he meant was why marry the cow when the milks for free and i can also tell everyone I'm not married and have all their milk as well?
ANSWER
4 years ago
He’s settling for you. Leave him.
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4 years ago
If I'm honest, I think I'm settling for him too...I deserve better.
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4 years ago
YOU TOTALLY DESERVE BETTER!!!! You deserve someone who wants to be with you and tells you everyday and loves you with his whole being. You. Deserve. More.
ANSWER
4 years ago
My husband did this. Please leave it will never stop and will escalate I finally left after 9 years. You deserve better don’t let this destroy you like it did me
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4 years ago
Did you try marriage counseling?
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4 years ago
I wrote this He refused. Just wouldn’t do it.
ANSWER
4 years ago
He doesn't want you. Kick him out
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4 years ago
OP here, as hard as this is to hear I think you are right. Thanks for your honesty.
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4 years ago
^This is my response babe and I should apologise for being rude. You're obviously going through something really hard and you deserve some compassion. You also deserve to be happy and with someone who loves you with everything they have. Good luck xx
ANSWER
4 years ago
There's a lot of red flags here, love, but the most concerning, is I feel that given his emotional affair partner didn't want him, he decided that you'll do. You're better than that and worth much more.
How long ago was this emotional affair? I fear that there was more than emotions, as discussing to leave martial partners, they'd want to be pretty sure that that's a good idea (I.e.: they've done more than just emotionally support each other).
If he's spent so long back and something about leaving you, that's not going to change. Again, you're worth more.
I think it's time for you to take charge and look after yourself. He needs to go, love.
How long ago was this emotional affair? I fear that there was more than emotions, as discussing to leave martial partners, they'd want to be pretty sure that that's a good idea (I.e.: they've done more than just emotionally support each other).
If he's spent so long back and something about leaving you, that's not going to change. Again, you're worth more.
I think it's time for you to take charge and look after yourself. He needs to go, love.
ANSWER
4 years ago
I’m sorry to hear. It’s possible he loves you very much but got wrapped up in the affair. I’m not the best person to give advice (I’m a cheater). I can only tell you that I won’t ever be in a monogamous relationship again. Your husband could be different only he can answer that.