I’ve been there and it’s heartbreaking. Your right men often feel to ashamed to seek medical help let alone talk to their wife about it. The opportunity did arise for me to get my needs, my happiness Completed outside the marriage. I went through a lot of guilt in that first year I tried to stop my affair but it becomes addictive when you finally feel desired and your self esteem is restored. I ended up seeing a councillor who explained it was completely normal for someone in my position to end up in an affair and affairs are quite common they just don’t get spoken about. If you are otherwise happy in your marriage perhaps explore other options. There are lots of men seeking similar on AM, there is also a lot of creeps but they are very easy to weed out.

What does ED stand for?

You’re in a very difficult position. His ED and lack of action is destroying your marriage. And on the other hand .... Having an affair will also surely destroy it also. If you really think this is the road you will go, I think you should end things now. I hope he can find a way to not let his pride and his ego get in the way of resolving this issue. For the sake of your marriage .

And No he’s not gay! Sure you need to get a good erection to even think about going in through the back door. And a midlife crisis I can understand at his age. But that wouldn’t effect your erections would it?

Thank you all for your helpful reply’s. its so nice to get some advice from others when you’ve got no one else to turn too. Even thought we’ve been together 15yrs we’ve actually only been married 10mths, just B4 we got married he was ‘occasionally’ able to please me not a lot maybe for like 10 mins every 2 or 3 Mths, but it was enough to keep me content as I don’t ask for much. he promised me he’d get it sorted but he still hasn’t and it’s been 7mths now since we’ve had any sexual interaction I figured my life’s not gona get better than this, I mean 15yrs is a long time to just give up on. The though of starting all over again with someone new and all the palaver that comes with starting new relationships just fills me with dread, discovering our floors only to then decide we’re not meant to be after a few mths, or years, the on and off heartbreaks and mental health I just ain’t got the time for all that jargen, I don’t wanna kiss 100 frogs to find my prince. I’m too old for all that craic. He’s a good man and looks after me financially for anything I need. My youngest son adores his dad, And would be distroyed if we’d separated. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just hanging on for the sake of the kids and money worries. I’m scared to leave because I’m worried about the unknown.i know what to expect from my husband. He knows my floors and I know his. I know how much of a shit head he can be and him with me also, and I also know how nice, loving and caring he can be. So I guess I’m playing it safe by staying, But boy is it disappointing. I just want more sex with him. If only he got his ED sorted, we be fine. And if he doesn’t, well who knows what I might do, I just hope he doesn’t blame me for what actions I may take if this get worse. Ha... how can this get any worse!

Maybe its time to move on. You are young enough to have a whole new fabulous life, you should have 50 or more years of great sex ahead of you, sounds like your husband is not going to be able to give that to you, and he dosnt care

I think you need to go hard line on this one.
He's being selfish not considering your needs.