No sense of identity
Answered 5 years ago
How many of us have lost their sense of identity, or never had one really form?
I have found myself, nearly aged 30, questioning who I am. Unfortunately I am a child of a narcissist and I really believe that this has made a very profound mark on how I see myself, or lack there of.
So, how do I find out who I am? I have followed some previous advice or writing my likes down etc. Yet it hasn't really helped.
I will watch a tv show for example or see someone I admire, and want to emulate them in some way... but I dont follow through, it's similar to wishful thinking.
It's like I can not make a decision about myself without internal conflict of what people might think/say/how it reflects on me. I know this is a self esteem issue.
So apart from therapy (which I have had a lot of) what advice do you ladies think you can give me?
If you made it to the end, thank you.
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What do you want do? Are you happy in your job, if not take a course, up skill alittle, go to the movies on your own, take up excersize and a craft. Just try new things for awhile until you find what you like. Talk to people.
I lost my sense of self from my marriage and being a mum. I had to tap into the things that I enjoyed when I was a kid. I lost weight, got healthy, developed my old interests in baking and took up a craft that I had wanted to try for ages. Started excersizing and turned into a hobby to make friends.
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I'm going to take your advice and stop saying no to things. Thank you. I'm so glad you got your identity back, it must feel amazing
I volunteer for a couple of charities, I have taken a couple of courses to up skill, I got rid of any item I.e. clothes that I didn't like but used 'just because' and really took time to build a wardrobe and home with things I absolutely loved, I joined a couple of local meetup groups and attended events that helped me make new friends and I spent time with people that made me feel good.
Other things fell into place by doing these things and I've never been happier. I met a guy last year and hes wonderful. We have a lot of common ground and make eachother laugh, we respect eachother and will aim to blend our two families in the future (which takes time and patience). But I honestly feel that if I had not known who I am then I would have accepted someone who wasnt right for me.
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Sit in your house feeling lost and empty and never follow thru and your lack of self confidence and worth will become a self fulfilling prophecy. You will become nothing because you do nothing about feeling like nothing.