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"Soft" swinging?

Answered 2 months ago

My husband and I have been feeling in a real rut with our sex lives... lockdown has only made it worse (homeschooling, working from home, its just been a killer for any spice).

Once lockdown ends, we are keen to try some "soft" swinging but dont really know where to begin. We dont want to do full intercourse, and nor do we think we can pull any friends into it! (Well, not that we know of!!). We also dont want to do stuff online.

I was thinking of maybe having a male stripper come over and giving him a handjob while hubby watches? (He has had a long term fantasy of seeing me get another guy off).

Has anyone else tried dabbling in things like this...? How did it go? How did you start? Do you regret it?


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ANSWER
2 months ago
It ended my marriage. Looking back, I realise this is because it was a bandaid vs working on our relationship. But I’m happier now so all worth it !
Red hot pie is how we went about it. I’ve been a unicorn for many couples since becoming single and it’s very common for married parents over 30. Super common. What is also common I’ve observed, is there same issues with my ex husband. The spice can be captured in other ways, it requires a lot of trust and boundaries.
It seems one partner ends up wanting more than the other, and that causes deep rifts for many couples. I no longer am involved in the scene, but it is very common.

ANSWER
2 months ago
We want to try this. Not with a male stripper, but with a nice couple.

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2 months ago
OP - I only said stripper because of anonymity! A nice couple would be more fun but no idea how to start that.

ANSWER
2 months ago
We were in a very similar situation as you guys. About two years ago we started to have same-room sex with other couples. This was quite thrilling for both of us. Since covid and lockdowns, we’ve met couples online and gad a number of live / Skype experiences where we watch the other couple have sex and vice versa. We’re BC actually surprised at how common this ‘kink’ is. Despite being locked down, it’s nice to be able to meet people from the comfort of our own bedroom and take part in some exhibitionism, which is a huge turn on and boost for our relationship.

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2 months ago
Thanks for sharing!

How did you organise the same-room stuff? Was it via a website or people you knew?

And online, were you worried about it being recorded or anything?

Did you ever get caught up in the moment when same-rooming and go further or was it easy enough to keep boundaries right?

Thanks - OP!

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2 months ago
We met couples either on red hot pie or the swingers area in reddit and established a level of genuine respect before going any further. So we weren’t too worried about the other couples recording. After all they were in the same boat.

We did get caught up one time. I was riding my husband while the other husband was kneeling up next to me, f-ing his wife. There was some light touching and intense eye contact between the two of us. That was probably the hottest moment of this whole experience.

Wouldn’t it be great if likeminded people could get in touch on this forum, OP. 😉

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2 months ago
Wow, that would be fun!

I bet it would be hard to hold back at times!

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2 months ago
It’s not that hard to hold back. Although that guy’s penis was incredibly large. Almost shockingly so, there’s no way I could handled that. We’re not swingers (yet - who knows in the future) but we do like same-room sex and the exhibitionist freedom that goes with that.

ANSWER
2 months ago
I tried with my husband and then he got sneaky went to brothels, massage etc and needless to say got even sneakier after being busted. Now my marriage is over after 8 years I would never try again

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2 months ago
Sorry to hear things didnt work out for you

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2 months ago
That's okay. It's not for everyone. You just have to ensure boundaries, trust etc is strong :) best of luck and I hope it truly works out