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Struggling with my teenage daughter

Answered 1 year ago

I'm finding life with my 13 year old daughter incredibly difficult, she is constantly screaming down the house over the smallest things, she calls me names and threatens me, she recently hit me for asking her to put her device away and have a shower (for the 10th time), which I don't think she will ever do again because I lost my mind and having never seen me so angry, I scared the bejeebers out of her.
This morning because we didn't have any of the cereal she likes left and I forgot to buy it grocery shopping, she called me a bad mother, lazy, told me I have memory problems, she says things like I'll just starve then and when I can't do my work at school I'll tell them it's because you don't buy food.. there are literally dozens of other cereals and breakfast choices. It's just so hard.
I try so hard to defuse her and calm her down but this is day in, day out about anything and everything and I feel like I'm not going to make it through. She was never raised with yelling or violence or anything.. but my other child who is much younger is now mimicking her behaviour, I don't even know what to do any more. Is there anyone out there that has actually gone through this? Is it just a stage? She has always been a good kid, she still is for everyone else... except me. By the time she leaves in the morning I'm ready to jump in front of a bus.


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ANSWER
1 year ago
Your life sucks

ANSWER
1 year ago
Totally normal. Worst thing you can do is to come down tough. Stop fighting with her. It doesn't help. Sit down together and come up with some rules. Give her more responsibility and a chance to show you that she can be trusted.

Forget the cereal issue. It is a non event. Not worth the drama.

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1 year ago
This is not normal behaviour. I have 2 teenagers and neither of them have ever threatened me with violence or called me names. OP needs to take her daughter to a professional, so that her daughter can get proper help to regulate her emotions.

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1 year ago
I agree, not normal. None of my three teens behave like this nor would they be allowed to

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1 year ago
Definately not normal.

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1 year ago
Normal for today's teens.
But perhaps the help so she can regulate her emotions is a good idea

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1 year ago
Absolutely not normal.

ANSWER
1 year ago
I haven't read the other comments, but my daughter was the same from 13-15. She's come out of it now and watched this video of her that her brother filmed of her going off her face at me at 13 and she was so surprised she was that bad.
I wish you luck ♥ i think it's the age, the boundary pushing and the lack of respect and not getting their own way, combined with hormone changes and friend/peer changes.
It was hard work walking on eggshells all that time, and she was so unpredictable, she also ended up on antidepressants during this time as well, it was just really challenging and i hope you have good support network for yourself to help you get through it

ANSWER
1 year ago
She rules the house

ANSWER
1 year ago
😂😂😂

ANSWER
1 year ago
Seriously she has no respect for you pull her into line now don't let her walk all over you . If she went to school and spoke to a teacher like that she would pulled up quick they wouldn't use the excuse of its fine it's just puberty make some rules and expectations that she has to follow or a consequence occurs no questions asked.

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REPLY
1 year ago
Hahaha. Easy to tell you haven't raised teenagers.

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1 year ago
Well actually I have eight four sons and four daughters all adults now so I've been through the teenage years a few time the differe

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1 year ago
Sorry the difference was I taught mine how to have respect for others

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1 year ago
This is a perfect response.

ANSWER
1 year ago
The other day my teenager said “ aww mum, there’s no cereal. You forgot to buy it at shops yesterday”. I said “ did you tell me you were out of cereal?” She said “nah”. “ I said “ well how was I suppose to know you needed some. Tell me next time”. She said “yeah ok”. Then she went and had toast. That’s how a normal kid would react. Your daughter is out of control. Get the control back. Do not tolerate behaviour like that. You said you scared her when you yelled at her. Good, show her you won’t take her crap. And don’t buy any more cereal until she starts acting like a respectful human being. Like someone else said, don’t engage with her when she’s like that. Walk away saying you’re not going to talk to her when she’s like that. She’ll only get worse if you don’t stop it now.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Don't buy into her drama!! She's feeding off it. Don't feed the beast. Simples.
When she's being an arsehole just stay calm, tell her you haven't got time for this shit, walk away and go about your business. Fuck that man. Don't create yet another brat who thinks their emotions rule the world. Jesus, there are kids who'd just be grateful to have breakfast in the morning before school. I know I'd have loved breakfast before school, but unfortunately i wasn't lucky enough. She should count her blessings to have you.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Total manipulation on the part of your daughter

ANSWER
1 year ago
I have a 13 year old I’m finding challenging at the moment. Her personality and our relationship isn’t bad but it’s a whole new set of problems to deal with for both of us. First thing you should do is sit down in an open conversation to figure out if anything is going on, especially if this isn’t normal behaviour for her as you indicate in your question. Then from there it’s a matter of working out new boundaries, new responsibilities and everything else. Start with the cereal, if she likes a certain type she must engage with you when it’s close to running out to let you know, if she does the grocery shopping with you it’s on her to remember while you’re at the shops. Also look at her friendship groups, she might not have been raised with violence but a friend might have and have been giving her these ideas. Hang in there, I’m sure every parent of a teenager has had stages like these, you and her will get through it together.

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1 year ago
Tough love. take her device and she gets it back once she speaks to you with respect.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Puberty can affect them. My daughter who had confidence issues before was a breeze it made her more confident and brought her out of her shell. My son who I spoiled a bit and was very confident is rude and can say mean things sometimes.
Just be there for them, he is going through it now and let’s me hug him every now and then. It is a confusing time for them.