Got an Answer?
I’m married and I have a daughter and son and although she is my first child and I love her. My son and I have a fierce bond. My husband and I have issues in our marriage but I would never leave him because I don’t want to upset my sons life. Sorry you will always be second and your son third. The thing is they don’t mean to exclude you they just have a love that you won’t understand. Accept it and bond with your own son so he has a strong parent. Her son might look to you as a father figure as he goes through puberty.
I feel I'm in the same position but as we're still new and haven't yet moved in I'm still communicating and working on it. My girls often verbalize that they feel that they are treated differently with all things. I can see it too and it's a huge concern for me.
His children have never had to share, have many more opportunities too and access to two loving parents so there is that too. I trying not to overcompensate because I dont want to spoil my children and I want my chikdren to gently learn resilience and that life doesn't give you the same as everybody else.
But if I can see that it's starting to crush my girls then I will have no hesitation to end the relationship.
Even if we are living together or married then I could never turn my back on what could potentially affect my children badly for life. My parents did and I still feel unlovable, unworthy and its hard to trust people with my emotions.
Please don't do that to your child. It will, quite possibly affect your relationship too.
14 and 11 are difficult ages. I was in a similar situation but roles reversed. I felt like I put so much time and effort into his kids and mine were getting minimal. When i tried to talk to him about it, he shut down or called me ridiculous.
Long story short, I left. I wasn't going to make him choose between me or his kids and neither should I. It is his responsibility to make the effort just as I did but it was too hard.
Sounds like your partner is only interested in the comfort-ability of you and your life, not actually being a solid part of it. Wouldn't surprise me if she doesn't get along with many of your friends and hardly visits your parents even when you go. Is she the kind of woman that complains about "all she does" around they house?
You honesty sound broken, which speaks volumes. Relationships take time, open communication and lots of work. They can also run their course as we grow older... If one another party isnt pulling their weight, isn't and positively contributing then why they would you stay? It is better to walk away then stay and be m miserable
You need to leave her its unhealthy and it wont get better. Your son and yourself will be a lot happier. People dont change.