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Unsure when/how to to tell the kids we have split.

My ex and I split about 3 years ago. The kids were 4 and 1
I’ll sum up our living arrangement as best I can the property we live on is mine. When we split we decided he would take out a mortgage and build himself a little studio on the other side of the property.
This has worked for everyone as he only pays $100 a week for the loan, where his rent would be about $400 for something similar. He lives on the same property, it’s only an acre but to the two of us it’s very seperate but to this kids they just have always come and gone and that’s daddies house that’s mummies.
My (now 6yo) mentioned the other day about marriage ect and started talking as if he and I were married and it never occurred to me tilll now I haven’t actually told them he and I aren’t “together”
I explained to her we were married and we now just really good friends instead of husband and wife and that’s just what our family looks like...


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Answers (3)

When my kids were 3 and 4 (now 13 and 14) my husband and I separated. He started staying at a mates place or his parents and he used to come and go. We didn’t tell them for ages that we were actually separated and when we did it didn’t affect them too much. Do whatever works for your family.

Todd par family books..all families are different, this is what works for you. Super simple bit seeing in a book form will help her see it's absolutely normal and you have nothing to feel different about x

.... well she was crushed. And I feel like a horrible mum.
Now I’m thinking about my 4 yo and how to tell her if to make it a actually thing or just casually bring it up.
I figured this was just their normal the were so young when we split they honesstly didn’t notice.

I feel like a horrible mum for clearly not addressing it with my kids and now she is gutted that mummy and daddy aren’t married. Even though she doesn’t even remeber when he lives in the house.

 Don’t feel horrible babe, best that the two of you sit down with both kids and explain it to them the best way you know how.
helpful (1) 
 She would have found out eventually better coming from you both in a positive and healthy way.
helpful (3)