Do you regret not having a third baby?
Answered 5 days ago
I keep trying to talk myself out of having a third baby, but I wonder if I’ll regret not having one? We can afford a third, but it’ll definitely change our lifestyle, plus I do not get any support (hubby works long hours, not much family help) and I worry about not giving the two I have as many opportunities and less attention. Please help!
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I feel like this is a terrible mistake. 😔
And it's not something you can bring up during antenatal appointments either.
I just don't feel connected to this pregnancy
So I think it’s a big thing to take into account
But then along came baby and i cannot tell you how much i love this little bubba! I could not imagine my life without them. Sure there's some changes in life 😂 and money is tight because I'm not at work anymore, but golly gosh I'm so happy my little baby is here and i miss every minute I'm not directly with them ♥ ♥
We have healthy 19 and 16 year old boys (we had our first-born back in 2001 when I was 25 years old). Between the ages of 42 and 44 I had 3 first trimester miscarriages, the last one was 5 months ago. I wish so much that we had tried for a 3rd much, much earlier. Life kept getting in the way and we kept postponing until suddenly it’s not that easy any more. I’m saddened as my husband would have liked a third or even more too. I have met so many people recently with 3 children and I feel so jealous.
Had we had a 3rd, we wouldn’t have got additional family-help and we would have still had to work....that would have been ok though, we would have managed and we would have been very, very happy.
Your other 2 children would most likely adore a younger sibling. What do you mean you won’t be giving them the same opportunities? Do you mean financially? If so, I think you should scrap that kind of negative thinking pronto! I’m sure you’ll still give them plenty of attention too. The benefits to having a third would fully outweigh the negatives.
Go for it, and I wish you the very best of luck!
The joy of having our third far outweighs the financial or time cost to have it. Each of our babies is so unique.
Also I wouldnt worry about not being able to focus as much on the other two - it will just become a different type of attention, plus they will help each other out as a little tribe of kids. It is great!
I still managed to pick up three more along the way though. My niece lives with me full time and my new partner has 50% shared care of his two and we now live together.
So essentially I have 5 kids 7 nights a fortnight 3 the rest of the time - 14, 14, 16 are mine and his is 8 and 11.
I have been heard muttering “we are going to need a bigger boat” on many an occasion lol
I think choosing to have a third child is mostly a self centered decision (because of the enrichment you believe they will bring your life). Choosing to be a parent (to any number of children) is a selfless act made each and every day.
Having more children will reduce the amount of resource (time, money, and care) that you can lavish on any one of them individually, and also the amount of global resource available to support their lives as they get older.
I regret not having my 8th
But I kept my number of children at what I know I could handle all on my own.
Iv got 2 kids because I knew that even if my life when to shit and I ended up on Centrelink payments, I couldn’t support myself and 2 kids on that.
I wanted a 3rd, but in a way as an insurance policy I didn’t. As I knew I couldn’t handle 3 alone comfortably.
My youngest Starts school next year. I was gifted a house at the start of the year, so I am now in a position I can handle a 3rd on my own.
But with my last entering school the desire has dissipated , I’m looking forward to dating my husband, spending time on my hobbies, enjoying myself for 2 hours a day guilt free lol. Having day time sex with hubby , surfing today.
5 days a week lol my mind is blown at how much life is going to change in 3 weeks.
My kids never went to preschool so iv had kids with me for 8 years.
I honestly think it’s something people don’t consider as much as they should, if your marriage breaks down, if he dies, if anyone gets sick.... can you handle it with 3?
Ps ignore any comments from miserable trolls x
At the same time, i do often think about how much easier life would be with just 2 in relation to things like holidays, new cars, parent teacher interview scheduling, returning to work etc.
And whenever there is an emergency (like taking one of my children to hospital), it ends up being a case of one parent stays with the sick child and one needs to mind the rest at home. Even though we have heaps of family around, no one can easily accommodate our other children so we can both be with our sick child.
Now I’m off work again ( without paid parental leave), hubby is working long hours again because he’s had 2 experienced employees resign, and all our plans have been put on hold again.
I know I would have regretted not having a third.