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My son from a previous relationship has Fragile X syndrome and will be in care for the rest of his life. He will never b
Answered 5 years ago
My son from a previous relationship has Fragile X syndrome and will be in care for the rest of his life. He will never be able to live independently. I had decided after his diagnosis I would not have more children.
Last week I found out I am pregnant and now approximately 8 weeks along. My husband wants to terminate regardless but I'm curious to find out for sure via CVS and then make a decision. If the baby is a girl and doesn't have Fragile X I would seriously consider keeping her even if it completely disrupts our lives.
I have so many questions running through my mind. What if there is a reason this is happening? What if I get to be a mum again? How could I even make it work? How we will pay our bills? Will my husband resent me for trying to pursue this?
I'm really just putting this out there because I feel too ashamed to talk to anyone without fear of judgement later on.
I'm married. My husband and I both have a child each from previous relationships.
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ANSWER
5 years ago
I think you should get the test done, then decide. Talk to your husband, and include him in the decision making, but know that ultimately it's up to you. Good luck, it's not going to be easy.
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5 years ago
How long does the test take though???
REPLY
5 years ago
ASK A DOCTOR
ANSWER
5 years ago
Did you and your husband make a decision in regards to the pregnancy
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5 years ago
In all fairness it’s a massive situation and regardless whether op decided to keep or terminate it may not be something she is willing to come back to report on.
ANSWER
5 years ago
If you both decided no more kids why was there no permanent contraception put in place? Yes I know it’s too late now.
You agreed before the pregnancy no more children, how would you feel if your husband wanted to keep it and you didn’t? ( you would probably sneak off and have a termination)
You agreed before the pregnancy no more children, how would you feel if your husband wanted to keep it and you didn’t? ( you would probably sneak off and have a termination)
ANSWER
5 years ago
There are plenty of things that could cause you to have a child with special needs. Testing negative for fragile x or anything else cvs might pick up does not guarantee that you will have a healthy pregnancy or a typical child. Just putting that out there for you to think about......How would you cope with two children with special needs?
ANSWER
5 years ago
Terminate
ANSWER
5 years ago
Get tests done, and if all is well, keep the baby!!! If hubby leaves, he doesn't truly love you!!!!!
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5 years ago
That's an unfair thing to say about her hubby
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5 years ago
Completely agree with this poster. If her husband truly loves her - the decision to keep THEIR baby won't change that ...even if he is resentful for the duration of the pregnancy.
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5 years ago
What if they had agreed at the start of the relationship that they would not have children and any pregnancy would be terminated? She is breaking the agreement, so you could therefore say she doesn't truly love him.
ANSWER
5 years ago
Ok, So get the CVS test done.
So there is a exact timeline for when the test can be done.
Just do it.
I have had 3 pregnacys, 2 kids, and have had 3 CVS tests.
It does not hurt, it takes about 1 1/2 - 2 hours. 99.9% accurate, so there is no way it is wrong.
Then decide after you have the resullts.
Just you 2 decide, no one else, no family talk, what to do.
Its just about you and your DH.
There should be no fear or judgement at all, noone elses business.
So there is a exact timeline for when the test can be done.
Just do it.
I have had 3 pregnacys, 2 kids, and have had 3 CVS tests.
It does not hurt, it takes about 1 1/2 - 2 hours. 99.9% accurate, so there is no way it is wrong.
Then decide after you have the resullts.
Just you 2 decide, no one else, no family talk, what to do.
Its just about you and your DH.
There should be no fear or judgement at all, noone elses business.
ANSWER
5 years ago
I'm from the perspective that everything happens for a reason and having another baby might brighten your life in ways you never even imagined.
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REPLY
5 years ago
Yes and hopefully this is the case. But it may go the other way for OP. I personally feel the husband is being a little unfair but I am outside of the situation so I can not judge, just reading OP post, that is how I feel. I don't see why she can't get the testing done first. It feels a little harsh to just get a termination without exploring all options and getting whatever testing is needed done.
Like I said, I really hope this turns out for the best and OP and her husband have a beautiful healthy baby. But he sounds pretty deadset and perhaps they need to get some counselling together and come up with an agreement.
Like I said, I really hope this turns out for the best and OP and her husband have a beautiful healthy baby. But he sounds pretty deadset and perhaps they need to get some counselling together and come up with an agreement.
ANSWER
5 years ago
I hope this doesn't come across as harsh, I don't have any experience in a situation like this, so this is just the first thing that came to mind. I think you need to be prepared for your husband to leave if you end up keeping the baby. If it was an agreed point in your relationship that you would not have children together, then it is possibly a deal breaker for him. Even if you don't keep the baby, regardless of the test results, it may change his feelings towards you (as in he might feel worried that if you do get pregnant again, there's a possibility that you'll want to keep it). It's a horrible position for you to be in, I can understand why you'd want the tests. I guess you'll just have to think through the possibilities and what you can live with.