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Do you still pay for activities if your income has dropped significantly?

Answered 1 year ago

My husband lost his job, I work full time and we can just make ends meet. He has a daughter from a previous relationship who is an amazing dancer and goes to a couple of classes a week as she is looking to become professional. We were paying $30 a week in addition to child support towards the classes, plus half of travel and costumes etc. It was fine while the classes were cancelled but now she is going back he agreed to start paying it again without discussing it with me. The thing is we literally do not have the money. He has asked to put other expenses on the credit card or skip mortgage payments in order to pay it. I don't know what to do. Fortunately we don't have a credit card anymore and I don't think you can just skip a mortgage payment. He just called asking me to transfer money into his account, but it will mean no food next week.


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ANSWER
1 year ago
Times were tough for us but I kept my daughter in gymnastics because she loved it and was very good at it. I found ways to cope. For example instead of dropping her off then going home then going back, I would sit in the car for 4 hours or go for a walk just to save on petrol costs. Gym was three days a week. I made the food shopping stretch further. I cut back where I could. I just think sports are very important for a kids mental health. They need a distraction from school and sometimes from home life if it’s a difficult one. My advice is to do your best to keep her in. Maybe you could apply for Kidsport voucher or ask the dance school to do a payment plan. Sounds like she’d be devastated to miss out especially if it’s a career choice.

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1 year ago
I really wish we could, she just loves it. But I have stretched the budget as far as I can. It would mean going into debt. I could ask her mum if one class is ok.

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1 year ago
child support is the only thing he needs to pay. I have heard it enough feom my ex to accept it. This is on the mums shoukders if she muat continue.

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1 year ago
But it is ok to ask the dad too. If he really can’t, then he can’t. Doesn’t make him a bad dad. Times are tough. But it is ok for the mum to ask, she just can’t expect him to if he can’t.

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1 year ago
It was something they both agreed to pay for initially. I don't mind being asked, it's just not something we can pay for at the moment.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Can't your husband sell unused items on Facebook or Gumtree to get a few extra dollars?Surely he has clothes, tools, books, games or knick knacks that he no longer needs or uses.

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1 year ago
Not enough to consistently pay for half the lessons.

ANSWER
1 year ago
No sorry, child support is all he has to pay. So juat pay child support.

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1 year ago
Yes i know kid misses out but i as a mum who gets $7 week child support agree its all they are entitled to. A new assessment must be done aswell based on him having no income. Yes kids miss out but extras are not must haves. Food and clothes are important

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1 year ago
Thanks he did a reassessment.

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1 year ago
I get it times are tpugh I only get $7 week and have to make do on one income as I said. If the mum wants her in extra activities its her responsibility to pay for it with what cs she gets. Or the child has to miss out which again many many kids go without. Its a life lesson too. You have to afford it to do it.

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1 year ago
BTE since you are earning the money its ur choice not his.

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1 year ago
I think the problem is mum can't pay for it on her own. Especially as her cs has gone down. But it won't be forever.

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1 year ago
Cant the kid just have 3 months off while you, your husband and the mother get back on your feet? Millions of other kids/families are in the same boat.

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1 year ago
I think this is here the sad part is.. in some way this is keeping up appearances. I agree, a few more months off should be considered, or perhaps open up to family and ask them to contribute. I don’t rely on family whatsoever(as we have never been close and I’ve cut them out), but I would assume that’s another avenue going off friends..

ANSWER
1 year ago
OP you sound like a really sensible lovely step mother.

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1 year ago
Thanks. I told him he needs to work it out and can contribute as much as he likes from his centre link income.

ANSWER
1 year ago
How many kids are in the family ?

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1 year ago
He has his daughter and we have two children.

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1 year ago
Its not even a question then. your kids lose their roof over their head or food to eat so that she can dance? Thats a hard no and shame on your partner for suggesting it.

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1 year ago
^^agree

ANSWER
1 year ago
One lesson a week is enough she can still practice online and YouTube videos.

ANSWER
1 year ago
If its going to put you into a situation where you miss mortgage or food of course not!
Lots of kids cope with missing out on activities.
Would her grandparents be willing to pay for a few weeks or even just lend money?

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1 year ago
I won't borrow the money.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Can’t be receive some Centrelink?

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1 year ago
he not be oops

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1 year ago
He does. He has to use it to pay child support, petrol, and his phone.

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1 year ago
His child support needs reassessing if he is on Centrelink

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1 year ago
Is has had cs reassessed. He pays $10 a week at the moment, I think its by choice.

ANSWER
1 year ago
What an impossible situation. Can he walk instead of drive and use his petrol money for the classes?
Never, ever risk missing mortgage payments. See if your lender will defer payments.
Try not to let her miss out.

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1 year ago
He doesn't take her, just uses the car for the school run.

ANSWER
1 year ago
My partners ex wanted to send her kids to a private school and my partner said you pay the difference and she said public school is ok

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1 year ago
We went through this too, I just said that's great I would love to send our two private too. That was the end of that.