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Are you a wife to your husband first or a mother to your kids first?

Answered 5 years ago


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ANSWER
5 years ago
Personally, I am a mum first. Hubby is a grown adult, he can take care of himself mostly. Yes there are times he comes first but I make sure that it doesn’t affect the kids. I tend to put myself last, but hubby and I work together to make sure our entire family has what they need when they need it so no one misses out.

I’ve watched a family member be a wife first, she has said directly to me that she was a wife before a mother so her husband comes first and that makes me angry. He’s a 40 odd year old man and she does every single thing for him but her kids miss out on a lot.

ANSWER
5 years ago
My relationship with my husband helps me be the best mum I can be, without him I would be a mess and the same for him. Our relationship needs to stay strong so we can be the best parents we can. So I guess wife first but for my children's sake if that makes sense.

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REPLY
5 years ago
Well said, we put our marriage first so we can be the best parents we can be to our kids. I really believe if our marriage is strong then our family is strong

REPLY
5 years ago
It makes perfect sense x

ANSWER
5 years ago
Neither I am my own person first. You can’t look after others without looking after your self first. My kids are teens and whilst I am there for them I am teaching them to live their own lives and guiding them to learn decision making skills and independence. It is a tricky phase they are not kids nor adults. They still need you but not necessarily want you. My husband is an adult and our love has changed over the years and I’ve learned I’m not the only one responsible for it.

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REPLY
5 years ago
^^ Omg I love this answer ❤️❤️

ANSWER
5 years ago
If it came to it my children come first no matter how much I love my husband. Atm when they’re young there is more of my time spent - being a mum. That’ll change in the years to come.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Why did my insignificant comment get deleted? I roughly wrote 'your husband won't get taken by the state so it's kids first'. Sorry if it got taken the wrong way but it basically means ultimately as a caregiver to your kids you have a legal responsibility to put them first. Obviously not for trivial things like who gets to watch what they want on TV, but for needs. Only got 2 blankets? The kids get them. Don't have enough food for everyone? Kids first. Etc, etc. Also for abuse, if your child ever told you their other parent abused them and the other parent denies, who are you putting first? If the other parent decides belting is a suitable discipline for not eating veggies then who are you putting first?

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REPLY
5 years ago
I read your original comment and i agree. Not sure why it got deleted because it was totally reasonable. I swear they delete the wrong comments at times.

REPLY
5 years ago
Sorry about that - we're only human and sometimes we accidentally delete comments that should be left there. I've been going through trying to delete troll comments but have been up all night with sick kids so my bad if I didn't read that properly - one of the matchsticks that I have propping my eyes open probably fell out, and the 4 cups of coffee I've had haven't kicked in. My bad. I'll put it back.

REPLY
5 years ago
😂😂😂😂^

REPLY
5 years ago
It's ok SAHM mod, I might get past it! I'm booked in for therapy next week 😉

ANSWER
5 years ago
Huh? It’s an odd question?
Like how does either or come “before”, I generally had time and energy for everyone I love why and how would I choose between them? When I had breast feeding babies they certainly came before a horny husband. I literally can’t think of any other scenario I’d have to choose? I’m a wife and a mother not before or after. Just as I’m a wife and a daughter and a mother and a sister and a friend.

Please enlighten me how you’d be a wife first mother second?
Heck I was a fuckbuddy first.

ANSWER
5 years ago
My kids will always come first.

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REPLY
5 years ago
Hahaha 👍

ANSWER
5 years ago
My kids always come first before all else, even myself sometimes but I do put our relationship first in that we are united front and we work together and try and keep the spark alive. we are a team. But if he hurt the kids or did anything that puts them at risk then they come first every time.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Your husband is never going to get taken off you by the state so as a caregiver kids come first.

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REPLY
5 years ago
Hmmm that's a shame lol

ANSWER
5 years ago
I feel like the wife first mentality is the same the friends who been left shattered and broken by marriage splits.
Others it hurts but they move on.

My kids come first and foremost
I come next
And my husband comes after that.


That being said as a family unit we all work together and some times other people needs are prioritized.
When I had nursing infants who didn’t sleep, it very much came in the above order.
My my husband went through a depression it was him first.
The order changes according to need
BUT generally speaking... no one will ever come before my kids, and anyone who “needs” to doesn’t deserve to.

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REPLY
5 years ago
Perfect response!

ANSWER
5 years ago
Mother first.
However, my husband puts me above the kids which I wish he wouldn't do.
I often discuss with my friends which is better, an excellent Father who is an average husband, or an excellent husband who is an average father?

ANSWER
5 years ago
My husband would think less of me if I didn't put the kids first - he sees that as our number one role. Kids are vulnerable - my husband is more resilient and able to fend for himself sometimes. That said, we make lots of time for each other and I love him dearly. BUT burning building and I can only wake one side of the house? I'm going for the kids. If I got my husband out, he'd go back in for them anyway.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Mother first wife second. While the kids are dependent and until they are grown they have to come first

ANSWER
5 years ago
Mother first and foremost.
My husband, I love him, I will always support him as the father of my kids
But our love is conditional in many ways. As is every marriage.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Wife first!

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REPLY
5 years ago
I kind of agree. We need hubby onside to wrangle the kids 😘

ANSWER
5 years ago
Mother first

ANSWER
5 years ago
Mum first

ANSWER
5 years ago
Mother to my kids.