You Mother and you sound lovely, however I have only had bad experiences with caring for an elderly person after their spouse dies.
The people I know have always expected their children to care for them, but don't want to move or change their lifestyle at all.
No Grandma, I can't move states to a small town where my husband won't be able to get a job and my children can't get a good education. But I will make room for you at my house. But no, I'm the selfish one.
You sound like a beautiful, caring person, but just don't get disappointed if she turns down your generous offer as she has already established herself where she is and change is too intimidating for her. Good luck.

If its something that she can afford have a look into a retirement village. My parents have just moved into one for this reason. My dad wants mum to be ok when he goes. It has been the best thing they've ever done. I hope that dad still has many years left but it's reassuring to know either of them would be ok without the other in there. Good luck x

You need to make this decision with her. Maybe she already has plans once he dies? It's tricky and she will probably need lots of support but not necessarily want to so what you suggest. Good luck

I agree with all of the answers posted and I have considered them. I feel I am a strong enough person to deal with it. We might look for a place nearby instead of moving in. I really think once she makes a few friends and gets into a new environment and routine she will do well. I also think being able to see my kids and I will help her well being she is very isolated.

I’ve been through similar with my mother when my dad died. She still lives with us and while there are some pros there is a lot of cons. My mother doesn’t understand boundaries and can be very self centred at times, about 23hours of the day. My experience has been quite negative but also I think it is because that’s how my mother is.
One more thing:
Make sure she doesn’t hoard shit before you move her in, if you do. My shed and garage is full of useless bullshit we don’t need and I don’t want, I can’t get rid of it either.

My dad died ten years ago. My mum is retired and has no friends. She doesn’t have a licence. She relied on dad taking her everywhere but now she’s stuck at home unless she can get a bus to where she needs to go. She’s depressed , miserable and angry. I’ve done so much for her. Including her in all my family gatherings, taking her out for coffee once a week, cleaning her house for her, small maintenance jobs around her home. I don’t live close to her either. She’s ungrateful for all I do. Family tell me I should let her move in with me but she would drive me insane. Think very carefully before you move her in because once she’s there she’ll be there forever. And she may become reliant on you. Maybe my mistake was doing so much for my mum.

It's lovely you are thinking about her just ensure you let her play a part in the decision making. She may have her own ideas about how her life will look, and her own interests she has put off pursuing to look after your father.

She will need counselling

She will drive you nuts