WHEN after he coerced me into quitting a good job where I had just been promoted 3 weeks prior to open a business 'of our own' using MY $30,000+ insurance settlement as beginning capital, then I do 85% of the work while he's either playing Public Relations manager or if nobody was there, he'd be out back smoking a joint and getting started on his daily 12 pk, Then, after 4 1/2 years I realized he must be taking money out of the register behind my back so I didn't accuse him- I just said to him I couldn't understand how the customer base has more than doubled and I'm working my butt off but STILL struggling to pay the bills... we get into a big argument while getting ready to open and after he made a couple of nasty remarks I just left and stayed gone til late afternoon when I finally answered his phone call And I had nowhere to go coz he'd moved me 6 hours away from MY friends and family. when I got home he was drunk and mouthy so I went straight to bed. I could hear him still mouthing from the kitchen and when I heard him say "You ain't nuthin' but a worthless piece of dog shit that don't do nuthin'!" THAT was the exact moment I knew it was over coz I'd been miserable for years, the doctor had told me my BP was right at stroke level and I needed to make some changes to reduce my stress and if THAT was the way he felt, there was no need for me to waste one more minute there. He had all the cash from the store so I called my son to wire me gas money, put a change of clothes, my grandma's bible and my blow dryer in a Walmart bag, slipped out the back door and within 3 minutes from the time his mouth overloaded his ass, I was pulling out of the driveway and headed for the state line headed home. Thirteen years later I'm still a happy girl!

It's a particularly bad time for relationships but part of me wonders if it's just showing everyone the problems that always existed but there's nothing to distract people from them anymore

There is a thread for this already. If you think it's over its over

Op Why do you think it is over?

Mine was over the same year we married- he masked the narcissism well, he became more emotionally and financially abusive in the space of about 2months by the 8month mark it was unbearable and i asked for a seperation... it turned physically and sexually abusive just before i left.
So many people could see and knew what was happening but chose to turn a blind eye and said i was imaging it or that it was my own fault

Leaving was the best thing ive done, and hopefully the divorce finalises in the next few months

When the police dragged him out for the final time and the final beating and I never looked back