Intimacy After Rape
Answered 1 year ago
I won’t go into full details but as a result of me getting sexually molested and raped it resulted in me having a child. It has been 7 years since that event I have met people but none I wanted to date, I have met someone very sweet things are still very early on and he said he had a deep dark secret I know what the secret is but let’s just say the first thing anything happens will be a big deal.
For those who have made the decision to get intimate after being sexually molested and raped do you have any advice. Besides taking things slow was there anything in particular that helped the first couple times
Have an answer?
Aside from taking things slow. Ensure he understands about your past. You may not realise it, but sometimes flashbacks do occur when getting intimate. Even 7 years on. If you have a supportive partner, they will stop and not force you to keep going. My, now husband, used to just hold me, even if I just cried and kept apologising. He never made me feel horrible or useless, but was always very sweet and loving.
If you feel you need to take back control, try doing something you want sexually. Something was taken from you and from my personal experience, I needed to feel in control. So I would initiate or be on top.
I wish you all the best. And over time, being intimate will get easier. When you find that special someone, you will feel safe and enjoy sex again.