Don't do that to your children, they need their mummy. Love them enough to let them keep you. Please. Can you take them to the beach and call lifeline while you are there? Or beyond blue?
I lost a parent to suicide. To this day I wonder why they didn't love me enough to keep trying. Please don't leave your babies, please. Don't break their hearts.

Hello lovely how are you now? I hope feeling a little better. A bad marriage and break up is scary and heart breaking but nothing compared to your kiddies losing their mama and the world losing another beautiful being that deserves to feel a whole lot better. Please go to ED if u feel suicidal because its life threatening just like having severe chest pains, you need treatment. Call helplines and keep number handy and go to gp and get meds and counsellor asap. I promise you life will get better i absolutely promise you. Just one step one day one breath at a time xxxx

You cannot force yourself to be happy. And no one is ever happy all the time. It’s ok for your kids to know that because you want them to grow up with realistic expectations.

Feeling suicidal however is not normal and you need to seek help for that immediately. Think about this: when you take your life, the pain doesn’t end. It might end for you but you just pass that pain onto your children, your family, everyone that cares about you.

Please seek help immediately. Call your doctor, they can help you.

I have no words of advice except it will get better.

I’ve written this story on here before but here it is again. 7.5 years ago I was googling babysitters and trying to desperately arrange for one. My children weren’t going to find me dead and I wasn’t going to leave them alone. It would have been an “I’ll be here. If I’m not back in an hour call the police and tell them where I am”. My 4 year old daughter came out and saw me crying. I was upset, I didn’t want to miss out on watching my children grow up but at the same time I felt their only chance was without me in their lives. She wrapped her arms around me and told me “it’s ok mum. Tomorrow will be a better day, I promise”. How right she was. Tomorrow wasn’t the day after but months after. I got through it. It made me appreciate life more. It can be a struggle and isn’t always simple to go away. Last year I was contemplating suicide again. Again I’m glad I never did. When you are thinking there’s no way out it’s hard to see the light but I promise, tomorrow will be a better day. You just have to wait for your tomorrow to come and get help to reach it.

suicide is a permanent action to a temporary problem.
nothing lasts forever, and there is more in your control than you realise right now. Suicide means you remove that control, and any chance to remain a positive and loving influence in your children's lives.
set aside some time to think clearly, identify who in your life can help you...or who you need help from, and then use what control you have to get that help. not an easy journey, but one only you can make, and you are stronger than you realise.

If you can't be 'happy' for yourself at this difficult moment in time, be 'happy' for your kids. Give them a happy day/ time with you, remember good times to help you get thru. Try and get some sleep tonight, hopefully tomorrow will seem better. Most people who commit suicide, don't want to die, they just want the pain & hurt to stop. If you can get thru this difficult time, I'm sure you'll be glad you didn't follow thru with it. You'll see your kids grow into adults & enjoy being part of their lives. Hang in there, you are loved, you are worthy Xx