Spending equal money on each child.
Answered 1 year ago
My husband and I have a daughter each to a previous relationship, and one together. The older two are looking at going to uni next year, my husbands daughter wants to move interstate to study as there is a better course for her there, but she could stay here and do similar. My daughter plans to study locally. The cost of living for my step daughter will be huge, she has money that we have saved for her that she can use. My husband wants to use the money saved, then take the money for the other two girls and split it up so all three have equal money for a wedding/house etc, but I don't think its fair.
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No, you split all equally and they can choose what to use it for. If the others find out then you will have lifelong resentment. I certainly have it towards my brother getting more, regardless of the reasoning.
If the one moving needs money she can support her decision by getting a job. In fact, working in her Industry while studying is the best choice she can make as having experience will put her ahead of the graduating class.
I hope that helps.
Good luck whatever you decide to do!
Don’t assume they will get married
I didn’t go to uni or get married and have not yet brought a house.
All savings set aside for four kids paid for two of my siblings to go to uni and my sister to get married twice. Being single and getting a job out of school meant zero.
No point in holding grudges
I think it depends on the kids. My mum didn't pay anything (nor did she have the money to do so) and I didnt expect it.
My husbands parents said we will pay for one degree to both of the sons. My husbands younger brother required a lot more help to get back on his feet after delving into some bad things... we said we didnt need anything.
The younger bro started 2 degrees locally and never finished. Went interstate to study another so they purchased a town house for him to live in and study. The parents paid for everything.
A lot of their money went to the younger brother and we were afraid for their retirement fund... however all is good now as the younger bro is independent now.
We did not feel any resentment as we can look after ourselves. And we are quite proud to be able to do so.
We have told them we dont need to be on the will too.
We are just one story. But I think it depends on your circumstance and you know your family x.
All the best OP