How can I deal with a MIL from hell that makes me so anxious and puts pressure on my relationship with husband which he never even comments about what she is like. We have been married 7 together 9yrs

I first made a effort then once I could see it wasnt returned I stopped. She lives in the same small town. Not once have I been invited there. We now have a LO she luckily only visits on bdays, xmas etc. she makes no interaction with LO or me. doesnt wish me a happy birthday. I get a grunt when she comes in the house and that is it. When I had our son we had major complications and both were lucky to survive she told people there was nothing even wrong with me why would paper say there was.. my sons bday parties she stands away from everyone and doesnt interact just expects my husband or his brother to go to her. If anyone else trys she gives one word reply. I dont want her near my son, she smokes and always stinks of it, cant interact with him yet has her other grandkids come and stay or she stays there for weeks on end. she is a stranger to him but thinks he should kiss her cuddle her just cause she gives him a present when she sees him cause she only comes to visit on occasions