Don’t start with that bullshit. It’s possible to be grateful for your children and love being a parent but feel like you also need something else.

While it is devastating for your aunt, just because your are able and happy to have children, the desire to be a productive member of society and give back does not and should not stop once you have a baby.

And a haircut?

Get it together like your big brother Bob

OP - this is brilliant. I think this is exactly what I am looking for. A way to make what I already do more productive and relevant and include benefits for the kids. Thank you 😊

There are some really great books on bringing up children, like "how to raise resilient children", and some specialising on what boys need specifically, and what girls need specifically. I browse the books in BigW, (we have a big one), and then go and take them out from the library.

There is a brilliant psychologist, Jean Piaget, born in 1896, who developed the theory of how childrens intelligence develops. His work was a basic text in education courses at Uni, and it is still foundation work that other researchers build on.
Look him up on line:
The Wikipedia entry on "Piagets theory of cognitive development" is very good. A bit heavy going, but at the end it has a big list of all the researchers who have built on his work. So its a good place to start, and lots of links to follow.
He discovered there are certain things that children cannot develop until they are a certain age, for example "conservation of volume", where younger children simply dont get it, that if you tip water from a tall skinny glass to a short fat one, you haven't lost part of it.