My wife gets really upset because I’m not fond of giving her massages
Answered 4 years ago
So she has always struggled with back problems although I keep telling her to get it checked worked on professionally she never does anything about it other than pop pills and ask me for massages. At first I’d do it no problem but it started becoming very recurrent and I suffer from chronic Insomnia so a lot of the times I have no energy for them giving i work 9 hours a day come home cook dinner most days. She also works comes home tired. I tell her I don’t mind doing it but it’s not something I like doing and that should be ok. She says if you are not going to do it with a good attitude don’t do it at all. I tell her it’s not like I’m complaining the whole way through sometimes I’ll say in a kind voice things like “oh babe I’m so tired today can I do it for 5 minutes” she tells me she had same issues with her ex husband. So I tell her well no one likes giving long massages all the time. I don’t know am I being insensitive or is she taking things to another level they don’t need to?
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I used to get chronic sore neck and shoulders from a crappy posture mainly, and constantly nagged my partner to massage me, he hated it and normally expected something in return, which then pissed me off lol. I eventually stopped asking so much as he gave me hell attitude and started doing a really crappy job so in the end it wasnt worth it.
I ended up getting a bamboo pillow which actually helped 10 fold, then eventually upgraded to a bamboo mattress topper too. And a massage device. Now if its really bad I bribe my 3 kids to take turns lol. Their little bony elbows are the best for shoulder knots and theyll do whatever for chocolate hahaha.
I feel for you both as I get her side, but also know how its affecting you. Hopefully you find something that works better.
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Now I have injured my elbow and it hurts to massage. Maybe you could tell her you have something like tennis elbow or carpal tunnel syndrome from repetitive massages and it hurts you to much to much to rub. 🤷♀️