Is paid sex just as it is nothing more?
Answered 10 months ago
I have been more for more than 22 years, 10 years ago my husband was diagnosed with medical condition , look after him and late last year we had good news that he is getting better. Early this year a found messages on his phone - sex messages. I confronted by husband about it he said he is seeing escorts for paid sex. I was stunned and felt betrayed. I am on menopause and lose it - libido. I tried to make sense of it and try to maintain its okay. Last week he asked me to charge his watch and a message come up with flowers and heart. My husband sent a message " hope you are feeling better hun" that hit me hard. I confronted him again his reply to me ' do you want me to be nasty to them , they are people just happen to be escorts. She just have an operation. That still hurts. And his next sentence to me " back in the old days - having sex with other people outside marriage is acceptable. thats then this is now. He said its paid sex nothing more nothing else. I am having problems accepting this. I am deeply hurt , betrayed and I just want to somewhere far away. I dont know what to do. I am so alone. Am I right to feel this way? Help before I make a decision that would change and hurt people I love
Have an answer?
I personally think it's unacceptable for him to be having worn escorts and keeping in contact with them. Total disregard for your feelings
There's no reason for you to stay with him if you don't want to. If this is a deal breaker for you (it would be for me), end it. You don't have to commit MORE time to him just because you already have spent so much of it there.
If you are prepared to stay with him, and overlook his philandering ways, and simply want him to stop interacting with the women outside of the transaction, tell him so. Have him visit a legal brothel instead of hiring escorts. Where he can go in, shoot his load, and leave. They won't want him hanging around harassing the workers afterwards. And they most likely have strict rules around outside contact between the women and their clients.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. You need to get yourself tested for any STI's, and consider talking with a professional therapist to help untangle your feelings about this.
Best of luck to you!