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What are some reasons you have lost a school mum friend????

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ANSWER
2 years ago
Never had one

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3 years ago
Extreme stalking on her behalf

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3 years ago
Scary

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3 years ago
Because I left my husband (she was also my neighbour) after extreme DV and had to run away and hide and SHE TOLD HIM WHERE I WAS! What my new number was and sent him a bunch of messages which were total bullshit that I later saw In affidavits. Despite knowing how bad things were she always had to be the centre of attention.

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3 years ago
She had post natal depression and hung herself with her dressing gown cord . So so sad she was so young

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3 years ago
Cupcake stall gone wrong...long story!

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3 years ago
Their kids bullying mine & blaming my kid for it

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3 years ago
She raped my 17 year old son

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3 years ago
She molested my 17 year old son

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3 years ago
Arrogance!!

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3 years ago
She became a total slut after her separation. There's only so much cock - talk I could handle.

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3 years ago
that happened to me as well. Sad.

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3 years ago
I think calling her a slut is low. She is an adult and can have as much consensual sex with as many guys as she likes. We need to stop slut shaming women.

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3 years ago
She is still a slut.

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3 years ago
Sluts SHOULD be shamed for their behaviour- both female sluts AND male sluts. It's immoral and disgusting.

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3 years ago
And being judgmental is such a great quality. Let people live their lives the way they want. Overly concerning yourself with other lives will put you in the grave early from a heart attack. Get happy.

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3 years ago
Gees people. You all need to loosen up a bit. How does her behaviour affect any of you? It doesn't so mind your own business

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3 years ago
Yes I lost a school mum friend. It’s so sad as my son and I were kind of slow with making connections in the new area. Things became complex let’s just say, with her daughter and my son’s friendship. There was a lot going on with other children too, puppy love crushes, broken hearts, manipulations.
I did my best to remain neutral when she spoke about other children, I really liked her.
We both made the decision that them texting each other wasn’t necessary so stopped it, then one day she decided her daughter could text my son without consulting me. I didn’t react badly or anything, I was really chilled and easy going but said I would rather they just hang out without the texting.
We were suppose to have coffee later that day but I just had so much on that I politely asked if we could raincheck and she agreed.
Anyway it wasn’t until after a few attempts to call and a few texts later over the following weeks that I realised she has blocked me.
I’m so sad. She used to call me nearly every day and I thought she was a friend.
I’m not sure how things will be for my son now too moving forward 😩

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3 years ago
❤️❤️❤️

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3 years ago
My boys were friends for 7 years, her son was always having play dates and sleep overs... they came into money, bought a house, told me she can return the favour as all play dates etc were at my house. I helped them move, took stuff to the tip for them, gave them a massage mat to put on a chair to help their back problems. 1 week later, I was unfriended on fb, no longer answering ph messages etc... find out through a joint friend that I was basically beneath them.

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3 years ago
How awful of them. Sounds like the only thing beneath them is their integrity and IQ.

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3 years ago
I have lost lots of "school mum friends"
I dont know why?? I never done anything to them. Our kids were friends then when the kids stopped being friends, the mums stopped talking to me. I dont understand, I thought we had built a friendship?? Why should it matter that our kids dont hang out anymore? The kids still spoke just didnt hang out.
So now I just dont bother making friends at school. I drop off and pick up at the gate. If my kids want sleepovers I am civil but that's all.
Might sound mean but I have had this done so many times. Its hard not to think what's wrong with me!!

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3 years ago
Awww hunny, I bet there is nothing wrong with you. I think the same thing- what’s wrong with me too cause I’ve done nothing wrong & our kids still friends but they don’t seem to want to be with me it’s like they just tolerate me. All I can think of I guess is that I’m quiet & don’t really talk about other people, unless they have pee’d me off 😄 they’re opposite but a lot of fun & really nice

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3 years ago
We were all friends till one of their kids was bullying mine for quite some time. Now they all don’t talk to me unless they really have to & don’t include me in anything but our kids are all still friends which can make it hard at times. The kids got over it & are friends again, so why can’t they. I did what I thought was right by my kid. The school has a no bullying policy like every school does. It wasn’t my kid doing the bullying so I don’t understand what their problem is. I never had a problem with it I thought we could sort it out like adults but instead it’s like they’ve all turned against me. I never wanted to stop being their friends & now it’s awkward

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3 years ago
I don't have any school mum friends anymore.

I use to speak to 1 mum. Our kids were besties and had play dates ( they both had learning difficulties) so we bonded over that. Last year with everything she just stopped talking to me. I see her at school drop offs and say hi but its like she's in a rush or doesn't want to talk. In saying that i see her chating to the other mums.

Anyhow it is what it is.... it only makes me sad for my little one because it was the only other child she seen outside of school hours.

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3 years ago
My child’s friends mum put a request into the school for them not to be in the same class. Due to the child’s anxieties and not wanting to completely rely on my child’s friendship.
I’m abit torn on this?!? They ended up in the same class anyway. I dunno why she didn’t say anything earlier. I feel abit silly and wondering why I put in so much time and effort into the friendship?
Most family are saying not to worry bout it!

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3 years ago
She probably didn't feel comfortable telling you. It's not exactly a nice thing to say you don't want your kids in the same class.

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3 years ago
Reaching for an offence.
I completely see her side. It’s not about your kid she’s doing what’s right for her child. Not offence meant

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3 years ago
I wouldn't take it personally. I considered doing it for my DD starting school next year. I have solid reasons that include her child's trying to threaten other kids to stay away from DD because 'she's mine'. I'm not doing it now because I've coached DD to push back against the behaviour and not tolerate it. I wouldn't have told my friend because she has enough to deal with and her child has developmental delays and she struggles damn hard with them. It'd just be another thing to make her feel like crap. Not something I want to do, but I still have to choose a path that is best for my own child.

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3 years ago
None of this is about you. 🙄

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3 years ago
My daughter's best friend has anxiety and often relys on my daughter a lot. Even to the point where it's holding my daughter back. She talks like a baby (she is 9) and often hear my daughter revert back to baby talk.
She is also nasty when my daughter plays with other people as well. Like to the point where she says someone hates her, just to get my daughter upset.
I wanted to ask the principal's to separate them but my daughter begged me not too. But if this continues, I'm going to ask for next year.
It really is a hard thing to tell the parent because you don't want to be offensive but you also don't want your child to be going backwards rather than forward.
Every situation is different though.

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3 years ago
I don’t think that’s about you at all and don’t understand why that should or would ruin your friendship. If your friendship relies on your kids getting along you must not be that close. She’s just thinking of her child’s development and some times it does them good not to be in the same class.

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3 years ago
Update: they have been put into seperate classes this year. I wasn’t surprised and was pre-paring my daughter they might not be in the same class.
But she got their other best friend so now hoping my daughter will make some new friends.
But I may not see her much this year as the dynamic may change.

Thanks for ur comments. I know she was doing it for her daughter. But it still pulls at the heart strings.
I thought requests were mainly for bullying.

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3 years ago
My kids are now older, in years 10, 8 & 6. I don't go into the school anymore, I let the kids come to me. I do however miss the school yard chats at times. At one school Miss X had a child in the same class as my eldest in year 2. He was manipulative, mean and popular who lied .. alot. My literal son didn't understand these lies and believed him, he would talk about brining a knife to school on many occasions and would swear alot not what you would expect from a well manner boy in year 2. His mother was in denial and kept telling me I had to filter because I broached the topic, she made my life at the school hell and luckily for me moved overseas, if they didn't leave the school we would have, as an adult I really don't need that sort of behaviour I say is the best way forward.

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3 years ago
Introduced one school mum friend to another on a group camping trip.....2am in the morning I found first school mum friend in a public toilet cubicle with the husband of the other mum friend.....destroyed so many lives 😔

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3 years ago
Wow 😳

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3 years ago
Big group of us went away together. Two of the Mums had gone to a lot of trouble to organise a great weekend away (it was their hometown). One Mum (we shall call her X) who I was very good friends with complained the entire time, kept calling her husband and kids back home and generally made it miserable for everyone.

I called X out on the way she was acting and speaking about the other Mums on the trip and she didn’t like it (massive narcissist) and she stopped talking to me.

Funny thing is the others (except for one) have short memories and stuck by Xs side - it’s like they had completely forgotten how she had acted and how miserable she was the entire weekend 🤷🏼‍♀️

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3 years ago
Was one of my best friends. My Dad passed away and after the funeral she stopped talking to me.... still have no idea why!

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3 years ago
I told her I was unhappy in my marriage and wanted to leave my emotionally abusive husband. She said that couldn’t be right (no one knew he was like that) and then never spoke to me again!

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3 years ago
She changed after she became single and I entered into a relationship and became pregnant.. she ran me down to our mutual friends.. she wanted me to be single with her..once she knew that I was told what she had been saying she stop talking to me and blocked me on everything.. felt like I was back in high school..

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3 years ago
When I stopped looking after their kids and / or pets for free.

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3 years ago
The toxic school mum group was such a learning curve for me!

We did mum group dinners and she would get drunk and try and start arguments, snap at people and storm off. Then she would come back and pretend like nothing had happened. It was really strange.

She would bad mouth everyone behind their backs and triangulate people against one another whilst being so nice and charming to your face.

I stopped talking to her once I heard what she has been telling people about me and moved on. She still claims to our mutual friends that she has no idea what she has done wrong.

She doesn’t know that it was her “closest friend” who told me what she had been saying behind my back. I think her closest friend thought I would join in on the bitching and didn’t expect I’d just leave a group to get away from her.

Too toxic. When you have had good friendships before, you know what it feels like and have no time for drama and gossip.

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3 years ago
Lost a group of school mum friends when I no longer had time for the p & c.....another because her daughter punched mine and blamed it on the autistic child in their class, I was ropeable when I found out what actually happened...
Lost another because my daughter was helping hers learn how to read better (at the request of the teacher) and the mum decided that my daughter was arrogant and bossy..( I asked the teacher and the teacher nearly fell over at the thought of someone thinking my daughter was either of those things) another lost because my son didn't want to join the chess club to keep her son company....
I've got 2 kids the eldest is in yr 11 and the youngest in yr 7...ive been doing this for a while now and the best advice I now give anyone is just stay the hell away from school mum friends, its not worth it!

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3 years ago
She just changed. Would speak really badly about people behind their backs but would be nice to their faces. Talked about how she was going to try and hook up with some of the school dads, knowing they were married. Stole money from the schools p&c, we knew she’d done it but we couldn’t show proof

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3 years ago
I’ve lost school Mum friends because I’m not interested in bitching about people behind their backs, and don’t pretend to be someone I’m not. I basically just get used and thrown away. School Mum groups are so cliquey and nasty that it was so exhausting just trying to keep up with the every changing list of who is on the like/dislike list. One week I was supposed to hate someone and the next I was cast aside in favour of that same person. I have no school Mum friends now and that’s how I like it.

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3 years ago
They followed school yard mentality and believed gossip and rumours about me without even talking to me about it.

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3 years ago
We cancelled on going to the Christmas parade with her because my dad turned up on my door step. I rarely seen my dad at the time and explained it to her but I think she thought I was lying and making excuses. A bit awkward at school pick up after that but 🤷🏼‍♀️ What you going to do. I have some great best friends from the kids school that aren’t necessarily friends with their kids, they get along though out side of school just don’t play together at school everyday. Being opposite genders they have girls, I have boys and a girl, the girls
Play together at school just not everyday. But they are my best friends. I think it helps if you don’t base your friendship just around the kids wanting to play together. But that’s how our friendships started. Now I couldn’t live with out them. We’ve been friends for 7 years! We just clicked.

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3 years ago
How are people getting so close to other parents? I have 2 school aged kids. I drop them off at the gate, say the hellos and how are you to whoever is there, the bell goes, my kids and I go home... at what point do people get close enough to sleep with husbands 😱

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3 years ago
My closest friends are awesome parents of my children's school mates! Try volunteering with helping the young ones with reading in the mornings. Volunteer I the canteen. Spend some time out of your car. You'll not regret it!!

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3 years ago
Yep it’s hard. I try to have a chat but find some mums already have a clicky group. Then on the other hand I organise all the play dates but never get the invitation back.

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3 years ago
I go out of my way not to be involved with mothers from school. I've seen so many mum friendships go bad and it makes the school pickup awkward. There are other places to find friends,school mum friends are too much drama

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3 years ago
Some of us have to go to work thats life these days

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3 years ago
I’ve met some of my best friends from school mum friend ships but sleeping with husbands that’s a horrible person all together! And they are people anyone should be friends with! Going into school is how we’ve all meet. Some of our kids have been friends since kindergarten all not finishing their last year of primary and onto high school. I guess we just had a great bunch of people in that year though. My best friend I just started talking to her one day in the school yard and we just clicked. Our kids aren’t even friends at school 😂 they do get along though when we do stuff but they have no choice. They are just my kind of people I guess that helped. Helping at school fundraiser I made a few friends not catch up with kind of people but good to talk to at school. It’s just about being friendly and open yourself. Steer clear of the ones that sleep with husbands though! But my husband isn’t like that.

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3 years ago
Her daughter sent threatening emails to my daughter. We were told "inappropriate email use" from school.
I punished our daughter. Took away all devices etc. "If you can't respect technology you can't have it".
She.... got told a story by her daughter and cut all ties with us.
I have seen the emails and went through our daughters computer as I wanted to know what she had done!!!

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3 years ago
Mine just simply never spoke to me...we were best friends and One day she just simply stop talking to me never responded to anything I sent, only so much a person will take if that....even ignoring as she walked by. Still don’t know what happened

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3 years ago
I had a friend like that took me two years and I’m still not fully over it. I think she felt I was jealous of her loosing weight but really I was trying to super supportive of her but I think she took my compliments for being jealous and judgmental and honestly she was a shit friend any way never listened to me, a very selfish person, always make things about her, had to have everything I had. But the loosing weight is the only thing that I can think of at the time. Before that she we would just work things out at rarely fought about anything. We had been best friends for years and then one day she just stopped talking to me. She used to even invite me completely when we’re were with other friends or events. I used to get anxiety when I ran into her but I don’t need a friend that does that to people and you probably don’t either. We are probably both better off with out! I have two beautiful best friends that are way more my people than she ever was!

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3 years ago
That was meant to say ignore me at events and with friends. I hope you have found a good friend now or have one in the future :)

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3 years ago
I was going to go into business with a school Mum friend, we spent hours over a couple of years planning our business model searching for the appropriate place I’m waiting for the right moment and opportunity … She made new friends and didn’t speak to me as much and then went behind my back and started the business with someone else, taking all my knowledge and information that I had given her as the business was my area of expertise. She then had the balls to ask me if I would help them set it up and give them all the information on how to run the business, never ever addressed why she was doing it with someone else and not with me, just ignore the elephant in the room, just sat there telling me about it like the past years and all our plans never happened.
Still to this day she has not given me the respect of Explaining to me why she didn’t open the business with me. Fucking gutless user.

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3 years ago
Because her son apologised because he was saying crass things about me, and my son told him to apologise... they were 6yo

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3 years ago
As a full time shift worker I longed for school mum friendships like I saw everyone else forging and I was always on the outside of because of the hours I kept and when I did make it to the school gate, I was generally running late so many people had left.
Eventually it happened, a family with a bratty son who I strongly encouraged my son to play with to allow me to develop the friendship.
As it grew, we’d often share a fri afternoon wine and she would drive home. The friendship abruptly ended when my son accused her son in the playground of having a mum who drives drunk.
He wasn’t wrong and I back my son, although it maybe shouldn’t have come out the way it did.
I’ll be honest, I was upset how it happened but it’s not a friendship I miss.

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3 years ago
Her so pushed my daughter down a set of stairs. My daughter had to be sent home due to the injury caused to her face/chin. The mum of the boy said my daughter should be more careful.
My daughter is now scared of the boy and every year we have to say we dont want them in the same class.

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3 years ago
Ahh that sucks!

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3 years ago
She told everyone I was in love with her husband. After being burnt from that I didn’t speak to any school parents because I didn’t want that to happen again

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3 years ago
There is one public highschool in my area. It has a bad reputation. My older kids went there and did brilliantly. This mum said no way in hell would she send her kids there coz all the kids were bad ( knowing damn well I have awesome kids). Her kids didn’t come to school one day and I found out she’d moved schools to get into a feeder private high school. Didn’t even tell me or say goodbye. Our girls had been best friends for three years.

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3 years ago
Woah that is so rude!

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3 years ago
Maybe you have rose coloured glasses? I Know people who say their kids are awesome, and I just don’t get how they don’t see certain things

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3 years ago
Or maybe the other mum is stuck,-up

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3 years ago
She my my sons best friends mother.
She was married.
She slept with my husband.

Destroyed my family.
Destroyed my son and her sons friendship.

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3 years ago
Did you stay with your husband?

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3 years ago
That’s low!

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3 years ago
Hi again

No I didn’t stay with my husband.
I asked him to leave after trying to make it work for about 9 months but feeling like I had been kicked in the guts and an incredible sadness I had not felt since my father had died.
I decided it was better for my children to see a happy mum and that I needed to figure out how to do that for myself by myself

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3 years ago
Good on you. You did the right thing.

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3 years ago
Didnt turn up to my DDs birthday as they decided to go to the movies instead. No apology text or anything but somebody I know saw them there so I know. I didnt say anything about it but I stopped trying with the friendship after that, just said hello to them in the school yard then talked to somebody else. It really hurt my DD not to have her best friend at her birthday for no reason, she only invited a few people and another kid was genuinely sick.

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3 years ago
that should read, didnt turn up after they told me they were definitely coming.

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3 years ago
Wow that's awful ☹

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3 years ago
Gosh birthday parties have really opened my eyes to how rude people can be!

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3 years ago
I used to have a friend who used to say yes, definitely coming, then text an hour before the party to say they were ill. Every time. Once, I texted I'd be late for her child's party because my baby was napping and she was overheard saying that I was doing it as revenge. I was crushed. Sadly, all I did was stop contacting her as I was struggling with PND and couldn't deal with it. She never contacted me. I realised that I'd ALWAYS done the contacting. Ran into her a while ago and she was keen to catch up. When I said YOU contact ME as I'm busy and will forget, she just looked at me as to say, yeah, right! I'm very sad to have lost her friendship.

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3 years ago
I've never really had school mum friends, I tend to keep to myself. But last year I made an effort with a group of mum's (4 of them) we hung out and now I know why I keep to myself. The bitching! Omg! So much bitching, bagging children etc I'm not about that.

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3 years ago
I bag out my kids, but only ever in a humourous way. Are my kids annoying litte earwigs? Yes. But they're the cutest earwigs you'll ever see and I love them so much.
Is it that kind of bagging out, or like actual nastiness?

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3 years ago
I think she might have meant bagging other people’s kids.

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3 years ago
My post. And I mean actual nastiness about other people's children. There's a few children in the class who need assistance and these mum's call them names I won't repeat here (just 1 example). So I removed myself from that situation. Don't speak to them anymore.

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3 years ago
Yep, you put all this effort in it and for What??? So annoying.

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3 years ago
I have one school mum friend that I keep in contact with from when our kids were kindy (they highschool age now) but I kinda avoided even going into the school and associating with the mums after the kindy /prep years because my child has ADHD and is hyperactive and impulsive, so I knew a lot of the mums didn't think highly of him being in their child's classes.
And I wouldn't call the parents of my children's friends my friends. Its mostly texts "can so and so stay the night" and basiccommunication like that.

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3 years ago
Bitchiness, gossip, obnoxious kids...

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3 years ago
Yep- full on!

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3 years ago
She seemed to enjoy drama with other mums. She would try to tell me all the nasty gossip about the other school families. All in all every interaction with her made me feel exhausted. So I stepped back from the friendship. She didn't seem to even notice (to be fair I'm in and out of that school all day long anyway so it's not uncommon not to see me at pickup time). We still say hi and I don't wish her any ill will. But I don't have any desire to rekindle that friendship

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3 years ago
Can relate to this one. It’s like being back in high school.