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Annoyed at this point.

Answered 3 months ago

My partners been going out so much lately and when he does, I don’t hear from him until he does decide to come home which is late morning or even late afternoon the next day.

We’ve been together for 10 years and he’s always been like this… lying to me about his whereabouts or when he’s coming home. Cutting me off once he leaves the house and comes home when he wants too or sobers up. Although I believe he hasn’t done anything with someone else (or not that I know of) I feel like I can no longer put up with this.

We have two kids together and we both work full time so I do understand he wants to go out and enjoy his weekend. But I don’t understand why it’s so hard for him to just communicate with me? I’ve tried talking to him so many times about this, he’s made promises and never kept it. Always lies. I’m so annoyed I just don’t want to deal with this anymore. Especially when he doesn’t even care about what he does and doesn’t think he needs to explain himself or his whereabouts?

Is this a good enough reason to leave?

I‘ve never had a problem with him going out ever, just the fact that he can’t communicate with me and let me know what’s up. I’ve always held it down for us and our kids… we are still in our early 20’s and I do love a good night out but working full time and having two toddlers the weekend is only enough time to spring clean our house and get our stuff ready for another week and spend time with my babies… while he’s out living his best life 🤦🏽‍♀️

Have you been in this situation or something similar?

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3 months ago
I know someone whose H does this too. She lives an unhappy cycle of threats, him stepping up to minimum, then sliding back, figuring out ways to sidestep her both time-wise and financially. He won't ever change (he's close to 40). People like your him & your H do this because they don't want to help raise kids or do the work & want to play hard and not communicating works. Friend's H has left her behind on trips or nights out because she or one of the kids are ill. Doesn't stay to help, just goes anyway. So you choose your future based on him not changing. Maybe he will one day. But don't bet your life away on it. What do YOU want?

Just make sure if you leave he pays child support and takes the kids for a decent time so you get time off & he doesn't do things like send their washing home for you to do.


3 months ago
Did you just describe my partner? Because this is exactly what he does.. no communication, barely helps me with our kids literally tells me “IM FORCING HIM” to do things he doesn’t want to do LOL (change nappies, make food / bottles or showering kids etc) for so long I’ve stopped asking for help and only take it when he offers. I haaaaate telling him how to be a father! How to be of help!

Not to mention he is emotionally unavailable and it’s been like that for many many years.. I have been thinking about how I want my future to be and it’s not like this.

Thank you for your comment, appreciate it!

3 months ago
If you can afford to leave, or kick him out, I think this is a good enough reason. You've put up with it, been ok with him always going out, tried talking to him, being lied to, promises broken, etc... How much does he expect you to put up with?

3 months ago
Why the heck are you still there?! Thats totally selfish and poor role modelling. What a C**t of a person he is. Taking advantage of you all this time.