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Just a vent really…

Answered 1 month ago

This is not a question but rather just a vent.
I have gone above and beyond for my partner and his kids for the last 4 years. I have kids of my own that are older by at least 8 years, nearly grown and off on their way to university and getting on with their almost adult lives.
During the last four years my partners ex wife has been nothing but drama. Drama doesn’t really do what occurs justice because it has permeated our lives in such a negative way, mince specifically.
I have finally had enough of it and I am considering leaving because I honestly doesn’t believe life needs to be this hard nor does the drama need to be so ongoing. Truely she is just an awful person and so much has transpired that I now truely hate the woman. Her name, having to discuss her on any level makes me angry, miserable and frustrated because I know it always ends in her being a complete bitch and abusing my partner … even for no fault of his own. Example - she made an appointment for one of the kids at midday on a weekday in his time, he has always worked full time and she knows this time would not be suitable, didn’t tell partner of the appointment until a week prior but told him veiled in a question asking if it needed to be rescheduled and when he said that it was not a suitable time she sent an email abusing him and calling him irresponsible and a shit father. This happens a lot. It always ends in abuse. I am just over it.
I have tried to say I don’t really want or need to be involved in the day to day organisational of his children between him and her but being in a relationship makes this somewhat unavoidable at times. I have started to honestly feel like I can’t have this continue for the next 10 years and I really don’t want this woman in my life even it is means ending a relationship with a man that I love deeply and who otherwise makes me very happy.

Anyway that’s it.
What would you do? How would you handle it?

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1 month ago
From a family law aspect I would recommend: Email only contact or use my family wizard etc do not allow verbal communication. Also what he does in his time is his business and cannot be dictated by her by any means. Set boundaries. Keep a diary. He can and should reschedule the appointment to when is suitable for him in his time or ask that she undertake such appointments during her time.

1 month ago
Perhaps he needs to keep a record of the abuse and get some court orders in place regarding contact?

I can understand wanting to leave, but I sort of think that’s what she’s trying to achieve - make him miserable!

How old are the kids? How much longer before they handle the arrangements themselves?