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Is this fair?

Answered 2 years ago

I have 3 school aged kids and I work 4 days a week, I finish early one day to take kids to sport, but I have to work through my lunch every day for the early finish. I do everything through the week, cook clean up child care etc. My husband goes running or to the gym in the mornings does a physical job during the day and crashes on the couch when he gets home. He resents me for taking my day off mostly for myself (I do a load of wash and pick up shopping). I expect everyone to help for 2 hours on Sunday to get the house clean and yard done, my husband feels I should do all this on my day off. The weekends are busy with family stuff and I love spending time with my family, but I like a bit of time for me too. We tried having a cleaner, but just meant everything was my job, and my husband hated paying for it. Is it fair to take time to myself?

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Answers

ANSWER
2 years ago
Welcome to motherhood and being a partner
Get a full time job and a cleaner and if partner says no go on a housecleaning and sex strike and cook him crappy food

ANSWER
2 years ago
Take that time girlfriend!

ANSWER
2 years ago
No such thing as time to yourself when you’re a mum and wife. I use to get bored when I was single and childless. When I got married age 21 and hubby was 40 after 8mths meeting my hubby and engaged for 4 months I wanted a baby ASAP and got pregnant on my wedding day and when baby was 7 weeks old I was 4 weeks pregnant and was over the moon and hoped for twins and ended up with triplets and when they were 28 weeks I was 6 weeks pregnant with my twins and hubby got the snip

REPLY
2 years ago
So that’s six kids ? Did I get that right

REPLY
2 years ago
I would hate it if my daughter married a 40 year old if she was 21 unless he was a billionaire and she never had to work again.

REPLY
2 years ago
Would you rather your daughter have a family with a young unemployed partying bum ?

REPLY
2 years ago
Yes 6 kids

REPLY
2 years ago
6 kids under 3

REPLY
2 years ago
Torture

ANSWER
2 years ago
It’s a woman’s job to care for everything. I mow the lawns, clean, run around, do the gardens and cook. I never ask my husband to do anything as he sacrifices being away from home for 6-7 days at a time and when he is home, I want him to enjoy his 1 day off. I work 6 days a week and am also studying a law degree online. If you work and need help then why don’t you pay for the cleaner. You only work 4 days and have 3 off. Give the kids chores and get a routine going. Organisation is everything and no I’m not in an abusive relationship as the troll always comments. I just think woman have got lazy and feel so entitled now.

REPLY
2 years ago
I can understand it being a 'woman's job' if the woman isn't working a paid job. Housekeeping is their job. But if both partners are working, then both should be housekeeping. Of course though, if it works for you and you are happy doing it, then great. But in op's situation it's obviously not working.

REPLY
2 years ago
My husband works away and a hard job. Her husband works a physical job as she states. If she doesn’t then why doesn’t she pick up the slack

REPLY
2 years ago
Depends what the jobs are. My job is just as demanding as my husband and I earn as much so he helps. In fact he does more as he works from home so can start dinner earlier. In my case I’m the one that runs out to exercise.

REPLY
2 years ago
Why can’t your lazy husband find 3 hours out of 24 hours to help with backyard
Wash dishes
Vacuum
Hang up washing
Mop floors
Stop being a martyr

REPLY
2 years ago
Um no I won't be taking your advice.

REPLY
2 years ago
My husband isn’t lazy he works away and is only home for roughly 22 hours out of a week and most of the time coming in after doing night shift. Why do I want him spending his little time cleaning or doing lawns

ANSWER
2 years ago
He’s a man child

ANSWER
2 years ago
Did you all think hubby would change after he becomes a dad ?
Bet he’s mummys boy

ANSWER
2 years ago
I was you and then I met a wonderful man at work who showed me my true worth. Your husband is a lazy sloth. You deserve so much better.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I don't know. I get needing time to yourself and everyone needing to do their part but I also hate doing housework on weekends, I like to keep them free so we can do stuff without worrying about cutting things short so we can do jobs at home. Can't you stagger the jobs through the weeknights, so everyone is doing their bit without having to do it on the weekend? Get someone to do the yards.

REPLY
2 years ago
I try to do as much as I can during the week, after the kids are in bed I clean up the kitchen pack lunches make sure they have çlean uniform. I will do floors one during the week in kitchen and lounge. I guess I could do more but should I be doing everything?

REPLY
2 years ago
I guess you could be using your day off better if this is a huge issue. If my partner only worked 4 days a week and one of them was an early knock off I would probably be a bit pissed if he was out doing things just for himself rather than doing jobs at home so the rest of us can enjoy the weekend together. So he does have a bit of a point, you get a 3 day weekend the rest of the family only get 2.

REPLY
2 years ago
She gets 3 days off as she works 4 and finished early on one of those 4. Id be pissed if I was the husband and you couldn’t keep everything under control. That’s plenty of time for yourself and keeping a house running

ANSWER
2 years ago
Congrats you have 4 children, not 3.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I got overwhelmed just reading your post. I don't know what the answer is but i think you should ditch them all & go on a weekend away with girls 🍹.

REPLY
2 years ago
I like the way you think!!!

ANSWER
2 years ago
This is why I love being single

ANSWER
2 years ago
I did a bex and a lie down after reading your post

ANSWER
2 years ago
Is he a child? Are you his mother?
Do you want to raise a man-child?