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My friend thinks I’m copying her life.
Answered 4 years ago
I’ll keep it brief. I’ve know my friend since aged 11. We got on well and spoke often.
Then she went to university and completely ignored me after second year. And she’s lately accused me of liking the same band as her and coping the same language as her. (I’m learning 4 languages, so I’m not copying her in the slightest). She finds it creepy and has told other people that I’m being creepy. I burst into tears when she wrote to me via messenger that she “cant do this anymore”. My friends (who don’t know her) have all said to delete or block her “because looking at that message won’t help”. And that she “has no right to tell you what you can like or listen to”. She’s also at this holiday place in mainland Europe and it looks good, so I asked her about it and she said that I’m annoying her with my questions about travel etc and that I should go when she’s gone.
But I’m torn. After years of friendship and now ended.
Kind answers only please. I’m too emotional already. Btw I’m now 27.
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ANSWER
4 years ago
She is sad ditch her
ANSWER
4 years ago
I had a friend who did similar to me. We were really close. She graduated uni and got a job whereas I did an honors year afterward, soon after she dumped me because she had made new 'party' friends from work who were more fun becuase they didn't have to study, had more money than me because I was working only a few hours. After many attempts to catch up it was clear she didn't want me any more so I moved on.
Many years later I caught up with her and shes recently single, still stuck in that entry level job going out to the same places at 40 that she was at 20 - whereas Ive gotten a good job, got married and had 3 kids so I think she was kind of envious of me now. I caught up with her a couple of times but I don't have time to party at bars these days so its only going to be a superficial friendship not close like we were.
Many years later I caught up with her and shes recently single, still stuck in that entry level job going out to the same places at 40 that she was at 20 - whereas Ive gotten a good job, got married and had 3 kids so I think she was kind of envious of me now. I caught up with her a couple of times but I don't have time to party at bars these days so its only going to be a superficial friendship not close like we were.
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4 years ago
I know that sounds like Im looking down on her thats not what I meant at all, just that we all move on eventually, thats life, take your own path OP, make some new friends and do your own thing!
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4 years ago
I wouldn’t bother spending time with her at all!
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4 years ago
Some people live in the moment some people plan and live in the future. She just had a different take on life. You do sound like you're massively judging her.
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4 years ago
Nah, shes the one who dumped me because I wasn't cool enough. Im just saying things change.
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4 years ago
So... Kinda similar but not. But i had friends who studied uni while i did tafe, and we grew apart mostly because i had a boyfriend and we were planning moving towns, babies etc etc while my studying at uni friends were partying because they were young and single and studying. I'm sure in their personal view they look down on me, like you do with your friend, because i didn't do honors etc. But the realisation that as a child in school you are forced to be friends with people as you're together all the time, didn't apply as an adult. Friendships ending is sad but at the end of the day you aren't forced to maintain friendships you made as an 8 year old, and you shouldn't be expected to. People have their own lives and you should be allowed to live them and let others live theirs without judgement. I don't feel jealous of any of my old friends or their lives no matter how glamorous they try to make them appear on insta. I would not change most of my life choices for anything
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4 years ago
She is bored and trying to create drama, if she genuinely felt you were copying her and had a problem with it she would just block you. You don't need people like that in your life, just block her and don't worry about it. She will probably carry on talking about you to friends as she won't like you getting the last word by blocking her, but you just have to rise above it. If mutual friends ask you about it just say unfortunately we grew apart.
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4 years ago
Why does she have to lie?
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4 years ago
Maybe the friend is copying the OP
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4 years ago
You're an adult , this isn't highschool, just cut her off.
Who gives a fuck if people like the same band? I love the same bands as so many of my friends! Shes clearly still mentally stuck in highschool
Who gives a fuck if people like the same band? I love the same bands as so many of my friends! Shes clearly still mentally stuck in highschool
ANSWER
4 years ago
My brothers girlfriend literally copies everything in my life from my home decor, my hobbies, my haircuts, she mimics my posts on social media, she's tried to get in to my field of work, if I go on a diet, get a beauty treatment, book a holiday she must do the exact same, she copies my mannerisms and even adopted my accent.. I spent a lot of time trying to be flattered but in truth it is EXTREMELY creepy to the point where I am fearful of her motives and no longer allow her around my children or any information about my life, she digs deep and still finds a way because she's bloody nuts. Think about your own motives, actions and how you are making your friend feel.
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4 years ago
oooooh this won't end well. Does your brother know?
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4 years ago
Does she think your brother wants a girlfriend just like his sister? Because that is creepy
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4 years ago
He does know, her family also reached out to me about it because I'm not the first woman she has done this to, she's apparently in therapy but she isn't getting better because just yesterday she used my brothers facebook account pretending to be him to reach out and ask me probing questions, I knew immediately it wasn't my brother because of the way the messages were were worded and I called my brother at work to confirm, she recently also made a fake tik tok account of a teenage boy to try and talk to my teenage daughter which was next level mental, she was this accounts only friend so my daughter noticed immediately... hence why I said she's so bad at it, It's like she goes to all this effort but wants to be caught or she really thinks we are stupid.. I don't know... Anyway, It's a whole, ongoing thing.. I could write and essay with all the things she's done but it's as sad as it is crazy and I do sway between feeling afraid of her and bad for her and hoping she gets better.
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4 years ago
I keep thinking of the movie Single White Female 😂
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4 years ago
You need toget a restraining order that gf of ur brothers is next level crazy.
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4 years ago
She must be a good root if he’s still with her!!!
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4 years ago
I have this theory that you go out there be yourself be friendly and people who want to be your friend will stick. Maintaining friendships is hard work so best to invest your time wisely.
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4 years ago
I like that theory x
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4 years ago
Im shocked to hear of this going on between two almost 30 year old people, this is what happens when we dont allow our kids to grow up.
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4 years ago
Not even close ^
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4 years ago
Some woman don't grow up ever. It's something just in them naturally.
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4 years ago
Yes she doesn't want to be your friend, for whatever reason she finds you annoying and restraining in some way.. the more you do the worse you will feed her theory. Time to put your chin up and move on. You were lucky to have a long friendship but this one is not anymore. There are sooo many people who are out there that you can make friends for the next step in your life. I have a feeling that she just wants to be free to move into the next part of her life too , away from the identity of being connected to you. Just let her go. Just because it's painful doesn't mean that you have to fight for it, it means it's time for you to grow and as you crack from that limiting shell it is momentily painful.
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4 years ago
Oh darling. You need to stop being friends with her. This is really toxic energy, no one needs that in their lives. I had a friend who thought I was copying her, not to that extent but she mentioned it a couple of times and I'd known her since we were young. The thing is if people spend alot of time together they usually have the same interests and subconsciously end liking the same things anyway. My friend was pretty self obsessed, so the world was just here to revolve around her so naturally she thought I did too. The weird part was I am so much cooler than her so wtf would I want to copy her lol. Needless to say we aren't friends anymore. I'm sure she's out there somewhere claiming someone else is copying her, sad sad sad.
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4 years ago
Exactly, its a sad attempt to get attention.
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4 years ago
Block her and move on. She sounds horrible.
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4 years ago
Just because she’s a childhood friend doesn’t mean the friendship will last. It also doesn’t mean you have to put up with anything within the friendship that hurts you. However clearly she doesn’t want the friendship to continue so you need to delete her messages, delete her from your socials and move on. Friendships even long term ones sometimes run their course and this one sounds like it well and truly has. Im sorry op. xx
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4 years ago
Fuck her off
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4 years ago
She sounds like a bitch. I'm sorry to say this but it seems like from her point of view this relationship is already over. This is a long time to be friends and care for someone for them to turn around and be so cold and rude. My advice is to move on. Block and delete like your other friends have said. I would also possibly suggest speaking with someone about it, losing someone you care about in any capacity is difficult, maybe see if there is a councilor or someone you can speak to about the grief & loss aspect of it to help with the emotional hurt