Photos of our day out (nearly blended).
Answered 4 years ago
Partner & I have been together 18 months. We introduced our kids to eachother a year ago. The kids have also been getting to know eachother for about 9 months. All is going great & we have plans to move in together early next year & marry near the end of next year.
I posted, for the first time, pictures of a day out we all had together last weekend with my partners and the kids permission (they are older).
His ex wife messaged and demanded I take them down because I am 'nothing' to the kids and I didn't have permission.
I can understand to some degree because I have been in her position but it was with my ex's new girlfriend of 2 weeks and my ex is a serial professional 'relationship' jumper.
I would like to have a basic relationship with her because I will be helping to raise my partners children but from her past behavior I'm not sure this will ever be possible from her end anyway.
I want to respect her demand but I also don't want to open up the opportunity for other demands.
Have an answer?
Answers
I took the photos down and my partner reposted some on his account. He also got told to take them down because I am in them and I'm 'nothing' to the kids. Her words, not mine.
So in the end my asking was pointless anyway.
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The responsible person acts out “I won’t engage in petty drama or pick insignificant battles that hurt the kids”
It’s bullshit.
Can her actions stop the kids being involved in the conflict? Yes.
That’s the answer. Not what SHE should or shouldn’t be allowed to do.
How can SHE protect the kids using what ever is in HER power.
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Sheesh.
So I understand your points on respect and morals and in this case I will refrain from posting and my partner will have to but I believe this won't end when we're married either.
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Yes you should be able to post it but if you want a cordial relationship with her then why do/continue to do something that’s counter productive to that.
So it’s your choice, you can be happy or cause your partner and his kids more grief cos then there’s two immature women in the situation.
It’s not that big a deal to not post photos of them if it means avoiding a conflict.
Conflit-not posting a photo.
It doesn’t really even seem to be a choice to me. Is this how important posting photos is? That it’s a hard choice between that and conflict for not just ourselves but others we love?
It’s a no brainer.
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The kids are being groomed by mum
Is your need that great that you’d rather a whole bunch of people around you get offended one way or the other.
Good luck with all the conflict in your life. Sounds like your gonna need it
Can’t you just not post photos then? Is your need that great that you’d rather a whole bunch of people around you get offended one way or the other.
I not after validation. I wanted a discussion to see all points. My understanding of what was written is is that I should stop posting photos because one parent said no even though the other parent and children said yes. And that if I stop posting photos to appease the ex then I'll upset the partner and children. And if I just stop posting all photos then I'll upset my friends and family who want to share in my life with my children.
Did I misunderstand?
I said do you want conflict?
You can choose conflict or peace.
Two people are needed for an argument.
Two people are needed for conflict.
And two people are needed for drama.
She may be the insitager but if you choose to engage then it’s ok you:
There may be mucdeeper issues. But from everything you have written the answer to this conflict is plain as day.
Don’t post the photos.
If your family want to see photos create a private message group and post them there.
But if you are happy to have conflict and want to be right then just keep posting photos.
Your step kids then have to deal with you fuelling drama ontop of what sounds like a mum who starts drama.
Give them one adult in their life who acts like an adult.
Easy.
Both my husband and I don’t share any photos of our kids on fb at all, and we have family spread out everywhere. I don’t get the necessity of posting everything to Facebook.
She doesn’t want you posting photos of her kids on Facebook then don’t post photos of her kids on Facebook. You want to share photos with your family, then share the photos with your family, just not through Facebook. What’s the problem?
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As many others have said to avoid conflict just don't post the pictures. People still have phone numbers these days, send your family the photos that way. Facebook is not essential to connect with people. It is merely a bragging vessel for most.
Looks to me you've painted a pretty picture and want validation about this, but if you are a truly mature adult you'll respect her wishes.
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I believe its because he's so tired of her trying to dictate everything that happens with the kids. From bedtimes, to dinners, to screentime, to after school activities. Literally everything.
But I'm a coparenting mum too so I always try to understand.