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I have never had an orgasm.

Answered 6 months ago

I've been married for 15 years and I've been with my husband since I was 17. I don't think I'm capable of having an orgasm.... I've tried vibrators and yes they feel good but they don't eventuate to anything. Help!

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ANSWER
6 months ago
My husband plays with me starts with gently massaging my cllit then a bit lower and just the outer areas of my vulva and vagina then back up to my clit and slower increases the tempo with more speed and pressure and wow he can make me cum and I can have a great orgasm most times he is fantastic One thing I do is not spread my legs and that also seems to make it work !? Hope this helps you and anyone else too

ANSWER
6 months ago
Does your partner panic about it because that never helps! I've tried to explain to various partners but they didn't get it!

ANSWER
6 months ago
Part 2

3. Penetrative vs Vulva stimulation. Statistically most women orgasm by having their vulva and clitoral network stimulated from the outside the body. The g-spot which is essentially on the upper vaginal wall is part of the same network, but often hold less nerve endings than the actual clitoral head and is not as easy to simulate effectively. A guy using his penis, needs to trust up in a arc (position: missionary to get it, "aim for the belly button boys" to hit it. BUT penetrative sex for an orgasm is half as likely with most women in studies orgasming from outside stimulation more than anything. So try oral sex and hand stimulation. It's hard for most guys to drop their ego for, but your "dick ain't the shit" and hands and mouth will dominate in helping your lady to orgasm.

4. Women have a far extended timeline from start of stimulation to orgasm, anywhere up to 30+ mins. The problem is a guy maintaining 30 mins of oral or hand stimulation is hard work physically and mentally. Not to mention they are trying to build a progressive build with consistent rhythmic stimulation. So one way for guys is to vary is to, slow start 5mins, 2-3 mins faster, 2-3 mins slow again, then start the orgasm run 10 mins of constant, focused, ever progressing intensity. Books like "she comes first" is a great read for blokes that struggle and from a sexual partner relationship point of view are life-changing.

Anyways I could write a book about this subject, but I hope this gives you some idea's and points you in the right direction go getting the big "O". Good Luck :) and remember to have fun regardless, sex is "free and fun" so don't get so focused on the orgasm you forget it's a connection between you and your partner.

REPLY
6 months ago
Dude. Come have sex with me, I'm waiting

ANSWER
6 months ago
Part 1

Ok, I am no sexologist but I can tell you have many many many female sexual partners and many with the same problem. Here is a few things as a guy that I have noticed that may help.

1. Priming: Women's needs are emotional, it's not always about the act, but the lead up, and this can start many many hours before, with attention, touching, kissing, eye-contact and being in the moment. The connection, the tease, the excitement of what may occur. Most women don't get this from a partner, and it sucks because you can't do it all yourself, but you can control your mind to be mindful of your body, and practice being able to influence your sexual state yourself. There quite a bit of science around brain activity in the lead up to sex and its my opinion that priming is more important for women, us guys are lucky we can prime quite quickly.

2. Your mind. Most women battle with their minds when it comes to sex. Its a minefield of anxiety, "to-dos", self consciousness, poor self esteem and general doubt. To battle this, mediations, mindfulness and general relaxation such as massages are fun and help to slow the mind and gear it toward sex. Some women put incredible focus behind an orgasm, others can just focus away and let their body go on its journey. No right or wrong, but being "in the moment" is important. I knew one lady that is was because of undiagnosed adult ADHD that prevented her mind / body connection so don't rule thinking about medical reasons too.

ANSWER
6 months ago
One thing that always makes me cum?
Spooning sex, lie on your sides with your back to him.
Try and get him to gently rub your clitoris and kiss your neck at the same time, even rub your boob. Slow sex too, long thrusts slowly in and out.

I don't know if it will work for you, it absolutely works for me but my Husband is an incredibly selfish lover and does this for me about once a year.