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How would you feel if your friends kids did this?

Answered 11 months ago

We went away on a weeks holiday. Upon our return we discovered that a friends 3 kids and another mutual friends kid had been hanging out in our house while we were away! The smallest one squeezed through the dog flap and let the others in! They wrote notes and put them around the house, took Polaroid pics of themselves doing things in our house and worst of all they cooked (made a cake) and left it on the bench as a surprise for us...... the mum thinks it's funny and its kids creating memories. I am beyond furious and even days later a bit stunned still. These are good family friends and I'm very welcoming and inclusive of my friends and their kids popping over whenever, but this feels like a big invasion of privacy, crossing a boundary, taking advantage, pulling the piss and not to mention dangerous! What if they'd left the stove/oven on or set something on fire while cooking??? Dont think my friend would find it funny if it was the other way around. I really dont know how to handle this. These kids range in age of 10-15.


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ANSWER
11 months ago
Call the cops
The so called friends treaspased

ANSWER
11 months ago
I wouldn’t say anything because I hate confrontation, but I’d walk away from that friendship. What they did was not funny. It was wrong.

Replies

REPLY
11 months ago
This is the problem, I don't do confrintation either and whenever I try, I somehow end up being the bad one for not being happy about something or them getting shitty at me about confronting them, rather than the person acknowledging they did the wrong thing and apologising. I feel like I'm always the one that just has to suck it up and not cause an issue. I can't walk away from the friendship. Kids are all great mates, hubbys are very good mates, we live around the corner, lots of mutual friends. It's just a shit situation.

REPLY
11 months ago
I wrote one of the other comments. If you really don't want to confront then there's nothing you can do verbally. I used to be you, but realised people made me the bad guy, often hiding behind the group, because it meant they get away with it & could continue to treat me poorly. It's what people do.

I suggesttrd locking the pet door with an obvious lock & adding a security system (even a cheap one). That'll speak volumees. If they say something, say they've highlighted how easy it is to break in to your hime, you don't feel safe so you're fixing that right now. Next time you go away, if they try to break in call the cops & the alarm will groghten them. You can choose not to charge of course but they'll get one hell of a fright.

You can choose to see the small positive - they have shown you you're house isn't secure. Burglars will happily use children to break in.

REPLY
11 months ago
Sorry for the horrendous grammar. I'm in a hurry!

ANSWER
11 months ago
Breaking and entering have them charged. I would its irresponsible and dangerous. They could have caused a fire etc or got hurt and as it is your home its your responsibility whether there or not. Talk to police. Friends or not they need a sturn word including the parents

ANSWER
11 months ago
If your friend thinks it’s funny it’s no wonder these kids don’t see any issue with their behaviour. I’d be talking to your friend. Tell her what they did is called break and enter if after that she still didn’t get it I’d be ending the friendship.

ANSWER
11 months ago
Ffs they could have baked a cake at their home and put it in a container and left it somewhere at your place

ANSWER
11 months ago
I'd be sitting friend & kids down together & saying you understand they thought it was fun, but they broke into your house, invaded your personal spaces took photos if it, used appliances and ingredients without permission and now you feel violated.

Ask what would they think be would happen if they'd caused a fire. Who'd be responsible? If they thought it was ok why not ask instead of breaking in? They need to know it's not ok, regardless of friendship status. If they bring up kids making memories then ask if it's a nice memory to find your house has been broken into.

Then I'd be getting a lock for my pet door & ensuring an alarm was installed. It may hurt the friendship but I wouldn't be able to turn a blind eye to it.

ANSWER
11 months ago
I'd be pissed off like you. I get the nice intention of the cake making, but it's all way over the top to just be written off as kids making memories. I'd be letting her know it is completely inappropriate and not welcome. If she still thinks it's funny I'd be distancing myself from her. And getting security cameras or a nanny cam or something so you can see what's going on in your house while you are away!