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Would you feel comfortable having a male daycare worker look after your children?

My daughter’s preschool has recently hired a male carer and I am not sure how I feel about it. She is a young toddler still at an age where she needs help toileting etc.
Please do not tear me to shreds here, I am not meaning to sounds discriminatory, I am just feeling somewhat unsure about it all. I have no issue with male kindergarten teachers or teachers but haven’t come across a male daycare worker before.


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Answers (37)

I’m not going to tear you to shreds. But what a sad society we have become when we assume all males who work in childcare must be pedophiles.

helpful (1) 
 The OP didn’t say that all males in childcare are pedophiles. She simply said she hasn’t encountered a male carer and isn’t sure if she is comfortable with it. She is asking for opinions and advice not judgement!!!
helpful (6) 
 ^im not judging her at all. I didn’t say she believes all male childcare workers are pedophiles either. Nor do I blame her for feeling the way she does. As mothers our job first and foremost is to keep our children safe. I get that. I’m speaking generally. Because the media really has conditioned us to be cautious around all males. Even though most males are not child molesters. It’s sad we feel this way.
helpful (4) 
 However, if you are unaware pedophiles will often put themselves in positions of trust to get direct access to children. And most assaults on children are by someone trusted by them and their family.
helpful (5) 
 ^ I’m aware of that. But, that’s not to say all or even most men in childcare are pedophiles. Of course you should have a degree of vigilance but I think there is a point where it can become paranoia.
helpful (0) 

We need more males working in education and early childhood care. We are lacking role models for our boys in a society so ready to criticise boys for being boys.
Boy'ms and girls are different. So boys WILL be boys and shouldn't have to apologise for it.
I wish we had more males working with children.
Statistically your children are safer with strangers not family.

 100% agree
helpful (3) 

Hey, I own an agency that provides childcare to Australian Parents.
Please don't feel uncomfortable asking this. These are your feelings and they are valid. There is a child for every sitter and a sitter for every child. He may not be it and that's ok. Because in the end there is plenty of other places you can go to and it's important you feel comfortable.
I was raised by a male "Manny" and he was great.
Lots of men are starting to join this industry and allot actually do a great job. Some children respond better to male carers. My own girls for example being much more suited to a male carer.
All checks you will assume have been done. Most likely he is a most wonderful man who provides a valuable service and acts as a good male role model. Some men really suit the excitement of running around.
In saying that your intuition is important. It is your greatest defence against things out there that mean to do you harm. You must ascertain what is paranoia of the unknown and what is your intuition. The best way to do that is be educated on this specific situation.
I myself have experienced the fallout of not listening to my intuition. I went to pick my niece up from after school care at the school. I saw a male teacher. He made the hair on my arm go up. There was something about him. Something I couldn't put my finger on. Something predatory. I told my sister who told me I was paranoid. She pretty much shamed me. Well as it turns out he really was a pedophile. 4 little girls had been hurt by him. My niece being one of them.
So remember to listen to your intuition. Don't ignore it because you think people will say you are crazy or judgemental. If you honestly get a bad feeling meeting him that you can't shake then be vigilant to make sure everything is ok.
You have a right to feel comfortable. He has a right to be working. So investigate properly to find out if this is the daycare for you. If it isn't then look elsewhere.
You don't have to go there remember.
Good luck finding somewhere suitable for your families needs. :)

To all those criticizing the original poster, you need to keep certain things in mind:
- OPs question doesn’t seem to be malicious in intent. She clearly isn’t trying to offend anyone, she is just trying to navigate a new situation.
- I think we can all agree that as parents we want what is best for our kids and sometimes the unknown can be a bit overwhelming.
- OP is asking for opinions or experiences. Blatantly criticizing and name calling is not helpful to anyone.
Can we please all just act like respectful adults.

 Well said. There are too many trolls and people with bad attitudes around.
helpful (3) 
 OP asked for opinions and she got them. This thread has remained quite respectful considering the way threads such as these usually go down. If there has any name calling it’s been minimal. I haven’t noticed it so far TBH.

Sick of people accusing posters who have a different opinion or experience to theirs as trolls or having a ‘bad attitude’.

helpful (3) 
 To the lady that said this post has remained “quite respectful” and that the “name calling has been minimal”. I think you are completely missing the point, all posts should be completely respectful and there should be zero name calling!!!
helpful (3) 
 Oh and many of the responses have not been respectful at all. I have reported multiple including one calling the OP “disgusting for having a closed mind”. Language like this is unnecessary and immature.
helpful (3) 
 ^ That would be ideal. But...... Look at this forum though and how even innocent questions sometimes go, and this one here being quite an emotional and contentious issue, to expect it to be 100% free of insults etc is quite naive. If there is one rude post in a thread such as this then you should be happy. You have to be realistic. This place is full of nasty.
helpful (0) 
 Actually it is not naive to expect people to behave in a civilized way. Once again, you have missed the point.
helpful (3) 
 ^ ^ maybe that is someone’s opinion 🤷‍♀️ hardly name calling.

This is a place of extremes isn’t it. Horrible nasty trolls who deserve the boot. And those who get easily offended by the smallest of things.

helpful (1) 
 You know where you are, right? Yes, the internet. Lower your expectations and then you wouldn’t get so offended.
helpful (1) 

What about the little boys who still need help toiletting? Does anyone get concerned when it’s a female helping them?
No, I won’t tear you to shreds, you’re just sadly a product of our current society which sees men as predictors. Just think about how wonderful it will be for her to get another male role model in her life. I’m saying this as a mother who had the same thoughts first time I saw a male daycare worker at our centre, but now am very accepting of men in the profession. You need to acknowledge your bias and work to fix that.

I would be wary too . 🤷🏽‍♀️

 Thank you for being honest, particularly in light of all the vitriol being thrown around.

helpful (3) 
helpful (0) 
 You need help
Didn’t you know females can be kiddy fiddlers

helpful (0) 
 It is not ‘weary’ (which means tired) it is ‘wary’ (which means cautious)!
helpful (0) 
 Rose west molested her own daughter
helpful (0) 

I would recommend speaking with him. He could be the most coolest bloke you've ever met or you could get a weird vibe. Don't judge him cause he has a c**k. Speak with the lad, ask him why chlidcare, what he does in his spare time etc

My daughter had a male daycare worker who was fabulous. He was so dedicated to his work & did his very best for each & every one of his kids. You won't find too many working in these fields as the stigma that goes with it puts men off doing these jobs. No real advice except get to know him, observe how he interacts with the kids & how they respond.

 Same. He was studying to be a teacher
helpful (0) 
 And these are the sorts of people that are found to be child molesters, the ones that want to go that extra bit for each and every child and the one that gains the trust of the families.
This is what was taught to me recently by an ex police cop who found herself in this position.

helpful (0) 

My son had a male daycare worker.
Kids & parents loved him!
He brought something different to the daycare that the kids simply enjoyed

Absolutely. My daughter's educator was a male and he was fantastic. She adored him and so did hubby and I :)

I’m all for man working in day care centres, but with older kids. Iv always said (and told my sons day care when they hired a male) 3 and under there’s no way I would be willing to have a male day care teacher. I’d be fine 4 and up.

 I completely agree with this.
helpful (2) 

A lot to parents feel like that, I have worked with a few men and only one was rubbish at the job (he just wanted to watch movies with the kids all day). Don't worry, child care is set up so all staff can be seen while caring for the children. If it really bothers you find another centre.

My daughter had a male carer. He seemed great. No weird vibes. Kids loved him.

A nursery worker dubbed 'Britain's worst female paedophile' will be released from prison after convincing a parole board that she no longer poses a 'significant risk' to children.
She molested 64 children

 Yep. Women ain't not better.
helpful (0) 

Leave your job and look after your own child.

  You are a ringworm.
helpful (1)