View other questions

Out of control 9 year old

Answered 4 years ago

My 9 year has a terrible temper. I just asked him to go make his bed he refused to. He walked inside kicked my plant over so I told him to go to his room, I confiscated something from his room and told him he's not going on the computer any more today. He lost it and started calling me a f*cking b#tch and trying to kick me. Turned his room upside down, kicked his brother. I'm in tears as I just can't control him. He doesn't act that bad when his dad is home from work, he does it for me only.
Please don't tell me what a terrible parent I am, I already feel like crap.

Just looking for advice on what to do with him to prevent him losing it like that? I'm in tears right now because I can't handle his behaviour


Have an answer?

This question has been closed and is no longer accepting answers.

Answers

An unexpected error has occurred, please try again shortly.
ANSWER
4 years ago
Just wanted to let every single parent out there know that this is what happens when you IGNORE bad behaviour from a very young age!!


Replies

REPLY
4 years ago
I absolutely have not ignored bad behaviour from a young age, he has been disciplined appropriately for many years

REPLY
4 years ago
Ignore this piece of shit advice OP. She probably beats the crap out of her kids so they're too scared to misbehave

REPLY
4 years ago
Please don’t let this get to you OP. I have a hard to handle 9 year old son. I’ve been on his behaviour since the moment I could discipline him and he still acts out sometimes like your son does. My other 2 have never required the same amount of discipline that he has and are completely different personalities. My 9 year old is strong willed and determined like his father, my other 2 are easy going and placid like me. You are doing a great job asking for help

ANSWER
4 years ago
For one second put yourself in his shoes. He can't see his friends, he can't go to school and run about and play, he is probably scared and anxious. Sit down with and do an activity together. Don't get angry. He needs to know you are there no matter what. Adults are finding it difficult to cope with isolation how do you expect young kids to do it.

ANSWER
4 years ago
I would have smashed his room properly then got bin bags and shoved everything in there and then chucked it all out. Then id grab him buy the shoulders and scream in his fucked up little face what a piece of shit he is, and if he thinks he is such a tough little man carying on like that he better look out, because i am bigger, smarter and stronger then him. Id then take away all technology for two weeks, even for school work with no gurantees getting back.

Replies

REPLY
4 years ago
I’d do this too. OP, If he doesn’t behave like that to his dad, then it’s a choice he’s making to do it to you. Come down on him hard or he’s going to get bigger, stronger and waaaaaay worse.

REPLY
4 years ago
I do the bin bag with toys too. It’s about reminding them they are taking things for granted. I load everything up and leave it in there for days, while they slowly understand the gravity of their actions.

REPLY
4 years ago
Classy response this one. Please don't do this. It will make things a whole lot worse. You may think it a good idea to bully and demean a child but child will become bigger, smarter and stronger than you very quickly and you will find your self with an angry uncontrollable teen who will physically harm others.

ANSWER
4 years ago
Send him here
Hubby and I will sort him out in a week

ANSWER
4 years ago
My son had anger issues at 5 we got a pet kitten and now at 15 she has resolved his anger. He is the most loving, happy teen and he adores her 🐱.
He also played a lot of sport with school mates and has a group of childhood friends he has known all of his life. He has also been having guitar lessons for four years and loves playing. I hope that might help you I don’t know how I would cope with an angry and abusive teen.

ANSWER
4 years ago
Too much technology is really bad for kids, I think you’re right to try and limit it.

Replies

REPLY
4 years ago
Yes my partner is very strict on limiting technology but when he is at work I let the kids use it for too long as I find it so hard to cope with the constant fighting between them all. But I really do need to cut down on it. He has lost all technology for a week after that outburst except for school work.

REPLY
4 years ago
Different responder- but really you must limit it. My 9year old goes nuts when she has the tv on for even an hour...it just does her head in. They have withdrawal when it’s off and feel cranky, please get rid of it..it’s hard to begin with but you need to find alternatives. Try simple things like packing a lunch box during the holidays so they are good to go rather than having to feed them constantaly ...keep your routine.

ANSWER
4 years ago
If this behaviour isn't shown in front the f his dad then he thinks you are a push over you both need to sit him down and explain that this behaviour won't be tolerated from either of you and lay out the list of consequences if it happens again Also totally agree with routine and maybe chores to do to earn technology
time only allowed it as a privilege for good behaviour .

ANSWER
4 years ago
Just sending you a hug xxx

ANSWER
4 years ago
My 11 year old is going this at the moment. My 9 year old isn’t too bad. What we started was a strict routine and list of chores to the point where we have been following them and enforcing. Now 30 days down and there isn’t much prompting and they’re doing better

Replies

REPLY
4 years ago
I think I've been too relaxed letting him sit on the computer too much and doing mostly what he likes over the holidays. I definitely think being strict with his chores and making him do jobs to earn technology time will help. He does chores no problem when dad is home as he's a lot more strict than me but I think it is why he behaves better for him also.