Hid in the wadrobe & when he opened the door I screamed "welcome to Narnia"
Sent the kids to mums for a holiday week, unplugged all the phones, filled the fridge with seafood and wine and locked all the doors. I am not home.
Maxed out the credit card on pickles and ice cream.
Sat down on my lounge put on Netflix & ordered Indian food to be delivered .
yelled " Hammer time" and hammer danced my a*s straight out the door.
Got on plane, holed up in Mexico & married a man named Jose
Drank a whole bottle of vodka
Sat quietly & wondered why Kim Kardashian looks like an African American lady these days
Unleashed that fart in all its glory
Pulled down my pants & pooped on his pillow
Laid down on the floor & whispered put it in me
Couldn’t think of a witty come back so just said “Mike Drop!” and walked away😆
Shaved all my hair off Britney style