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Should I become a full time SAHM?

My husband was offered a $280k/year job in a remote area (plus rent of a 4x2 place and utilities paid). If we do go, I’d be leaving my job ($80k/year) and no change of getting same job on the new town.
Is it worth it? I always wanted to be a full time SAHM, but not sure if I am going to get bored in a small remote town. Anyone ever done it? Any regrets?


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Answers (13)

I have been in a small country towns, and yes there is gossip. But the one I was in was long settled, and if your grandparents had not been born there you were considered an outsider, they didnt let you join the golf club.

But mining towns are mostly newer people, and changing populations. So not so small minded.

How good an experience it is will depend on your energy and enthusiasm to throw yourself into what the area has to offer.

You would need to join organisations and meet people, so you start to build a network of friends, for mutual support such as babysitting, shared outings etc.
You would also need to view it as an opportunity to experience a different lifestyle and environment, so, a family adventure that you might not have the opportunity for otherwise.
Your childrens friends could come over for holidays, and so could family. So it may have advantages that way.
It could be a real growth experience for the children, especially if you are intending to make the most of time spent with them, exploring the area.
Also, are there distance education opportunities you want to explore, to gain further qualifications in your own field, or complementary areas of expertise that would help you remain competitive in the job market if/when you return?
That non working time might be a great opportunity to do so, and would keep your brain active.
Your children will enjoy having you at home with them too. And you only get one chance at that.
If you are careful to plough all that extra money into building assets, rather than living up to the level of the new higher income, it will give you more options later on.

Go for it. I left a career to support my husband and he was offered a lot less. Guess what you can always go back to working- I have picked up where I left off - but time with your children when they are little is a one time thing.
Get good internet connection study something online, homeschool your kids, set up a home based business. Learn fitness, yoga, Zumba and run free classes in a community hall for woman only to get to meet people and make friends.
It’s about reframing your mind and having a positive mindset.

 Yeah not all industries let you pick up where you left off
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 That’s right I changed industries and worked my way up again that’s what I meant about picking it back up.
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Can you take extended leave without pay from your current job eg a year or two? Can you work remotely? Work on further education, develop a interest, run your own business from home? (Not sure what childcare / OSHC are available). Why not take the chance to be a sahm?

 Nanny, baby sitter?
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For that sort of money I would live any f*****g where!

 Exactly. this is a opportunity alot of people would be really excited about. Think about the things you would have time to do? If you're living in a small town you might want to concentrate on self sufficiency. Big vegetable garden, making your own bread, baking etc. Think of it life skills your children will learn. We've just done something similar. I think your crazy to question it - dive in, you can make it amazing!
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Go for it. Small towns have big hearts and I'm sure after the first few weeks your kids and yourself will love it. Get involved in a local fundraiser or community centre and invest your time into the community. You won't regret spending time with your kids and you wont regret meeting new friends with mutual interests. I'm jelous of you, wish I were able to stay home and invest back into my community but my mortgage says no! Haha, shine on gf x

 Not all bed of roses
There’s gossip

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 That happens no matter where you go ❤
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 I live in a suburb and keep to myself
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 Me too. I much prefer quiet
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 You can still invest into your community and have a job, just sayin
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Personally for me it's not all about money. We did this for 18 months, hubby on massive money. I felt so secluded and alone. I was horribly depressed. Our kids missed their family. So did we. My hubby did dido/fifo. He quit that and we moved back and everyone is a hell of alot happier. It may be good for you but for us it just wasn't worth the income xx

Looking back the best years which I didn’t appreciate as much, were the SAHM years abroad. I say go for it.. especially if the kids are young!

 Appreciate as much as I should at the time I mean!
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I’d do it if I was lucky enough to be in your position.

Do it!!! You will not regret it.
You can always keep your current home and have little getaways. We have and are loving it!

We moved towns when my second was born and I stopped working. First yeah kinda blah but I joined a playgroup which I ended up volunteering with heavily with fundraising and running it and it was fantastic experience. Loved it.but then both kids were at kindy and I got a job as a cleaner at first just a few hours during school, but again kept me busy. When thy kids got to high school we separated and I moved back to where we were from, but I don't regret my time in that other town, we had great friends and were part of many local community groups. You just gotta put yourself out there and give it a go

Yes... do it. I have moved around 10 times in 10 years for my husband’s job. I was pregnant when we first moved and have since been at home with the kids for all this time. It makes you and your kids pretty resilient and resourceful when finding libraries/playgroups etc. and other things to do. We have always had a support group of other families in the same situation wherever we have gone. I don’t regret any of it as we have met some amazing people on the way and have lived in and experienced some great places. The kids having lots of different addresses (my youngest had 3 before her 1st birthday) was made easier with me always being a constant. And being off work has allowed us to do this with relative ease. But was never really a ‘career’ person anyway and I was comfortable not working, and hubby’s salary meant we could manage. We saved lots
As we took advantage of the extra money, and are quite ahead in our mortgage because of this. (Our home is tented to tenants). This is a good thing to do if your income goes up, but your expenses stay the same. (Or save it). On the downside, I’m struggling now to find part time work in my previous field (and and the kids have always been able to take to after school activities, I’ve been reluctant to commit to full time. (They are 9&6) however I am managing to pull the odd casual day here and there around school hours. We still
Have a few more moves ahead of us... but yes if you have a plan long term, it will
All be worth it.

DONT DO IT. You will be bored and miserable. Even if you are lucky enough to make friends etc it will still be boring as batshit. There will be nothing to do and long distances to travel to do anything. Small town people are hideously cliquey. I grew up in a small town and moved back after many years away (to be closer to family, who have been a disappointment ) and I can tell you that it is not true that small town people are friendlier.... they are friendly to find out your business and that is where it stops. You will always be an outsider and they will enjoy having you and your family in town as a new topic of gossip, but they won’t be your friend. I had more help and support in the small city I lived in from friends I made through work etc. Less choice of schools means your kids will be stuck with the crappy local school wether you are happy with it or not. It will be hard for your kids going from (I assume) having many leisure activities to choose from to basically none. At least go and check the place out for a bit (can you go there for a “holiday” for a week to suss it out?). DONT DO IT!