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Hate my husband

Answered 2 years ago

He doesnt do anything to help
I work full time
Have three boys
He works full time
I have a newborn
I do all nights with him, work during day, manage school kids, lunches etc
He gets up, goes to fhe gym, and makes his cofee and of he goes
Im hating my life and even starting to not enjoy my kids


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ANSWER
2 years ago
Sounds like my life except one less child no baby and I earn more than him.

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REPLY
2 years ago
👍👍

ANSWER
2 years ago
the downside of women 'having it all' is that we are expected to 'do it all' and its impossible. so many women are suffering burnout and health issues because of it. its not fair on us. women used to outlive men i have a feeling that will change soon

ANSWER
2 years ago
I made the mistake of trying to be the perfect sahm, I did everything for years even when I worked part time. When the kids got older I was told I had to work full time so I did, but was still expected to do everything including the yard work. No amount of begging worked I got no help, and I couldn't get a cleaner as the house was too untidy. I stopped doing everything, I only do a limited amount of washing, if the kids wear clean clothes after school every day I just don't wash it, I don't wash anything of my husband's. He leaves early goes to the gym too, and gets home late, so I don't cook his dinner. I survive because I only do half the other half just gets left. I dropped one day of work and use it as time to myself, no housework. I suggest you just stop working.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Break up with your husband and start a whole new life with your kids.
Or
Have a big talk with your husband try and see if you can work things out.
I also reccomand getting a nanny or look into child care if you haven’t already, try and get a little extra help so you can focus on yourself. You need to look after yourself and feel good mentality to be the best mother you can be!

You need to change things ASAP because if not you will go down a rabbit hole and it can get pretty ugly down there.
I wish you all the best!

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REPLY
2 years ago
I’d definitely try talking about it first. But I agree you need work something out. something’s gotta give, you can’t keep doing it all on your own.

REPLY
2 years ago
Im assuming she does have a nanny, or help from her parents. You cant legally put kids in childcare until 6 weeks and most centres arent taking new enrollments.
But its the sleep deprivation that kills you and the nanny cant help much with that.

REPLY
2 years ago
Or she works from home or can take bubs. My work were desperate to get me back so always let me bring the kids even as newborn. Looking back it was crazy to do that but I needed money

ANSWER
2 years ago
Go on strike. When I went back to work everything was still left to me. I just stopped doing it all.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Leave if ur unhappy and he wont help. No point busting your arse for an ungreatful man child.

ANSWER
2 years ago
My husband is the same- wakes up and starts reading the newspaper with his coffee whilst I’m doing everything for my three young ones. He’s probably as unhappy as you which is the sad reality. My hubby now takes the kids Saturday and I take them Sunday.. like all day. I dont know if that would work with step kids and a newborn but thinking it will sort itself is not going to happen, some sort of arrangement needs to be made to give you both respite- parenting is so hard these days!

ANSWER
2 years ago
Ugh mine has morphed into a selfish pig of late also.
Towards end of my pregnancy, still working full-time, i would complain about my sciatic pain and he would tell me not to complain, that he works and is in pain and doesn't complain!
Then baby is born, he just complains about how undisciplined my teenagers are and how i parented them wrong, refuses to help with housework because I'm home and he's not (he only works part-time). All his spare time is about him and his things. I'm still expected to pay all the bills while on maternity leave, he actually resented having to give me money for bills the other day asking where my money went! Then says i could afford them if i didn't have a spending problem 😱 says the man with literally hundreds of dollars of afterpay shit 😡
I didn't know things would be like this and I'm so frustrated it has become this way. No amount of talking helps because he's so full of his own self worth he appears to have lost the ability to see anyone other than himself and his own selfish needs and wants!

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REPLY
2 years ago
That truly sucks!! Gah, I’m frustrated just reading that- be ready for when he starts saying your newborn isn’t this this or this as a backseat parent who doesn’t spend time instilling discipline himself etc. Go away for a weekend and yes, take the kids take some time away from him- and let the kids see mum having a good time.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Give him an ultimatum - To help, f*ck off or one of you quits work to look after the kids/house.

These days, men seem to put way too much on their partners whilst selfishly looking after themselves. Mine sometimes has the audacity to say stupid shit like "What? I stacked the dishwasher for you!," or "I put some washing in the machine for you." No, you're not here to "help" me. You're meant to be an equal frigging partner, not another child of mine that needs to be told what to do, ffs. And no, you're not getting a pat on the back for stacking a bloody dishwasher!

ANSWER
2 years ago
Working full time with a newborn would be pretty tough!

Yeah he needs to contribute 50% of everything if you both work full time.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I take my hat of to you, I have 3 boys and currently on maternity leave after having our 3rd.
My hubby is the same though, he gets up, goes to work, comes home and puts his feet up Because he’s ‘had a hard day’. I sternly reminded him the other day that I chose to have children WITH him, not for him, and I needed his help with raising them. We talked through a lot of stuff and it seems to have worked so far, he’s lifted his game.
Just have a chat to him, he’s probably blissfully unaware of how you’re feeling. Good luck.