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How do you get over an ex who keeps messaging you?

Answered 2 years ago

My ex and I have a 4 month old baby together. He has a girlfriend who he has been with since just after the birth of our baby. On Mother’s Day he sent me a nice text to say happy Mother’s Day, which was good, then he sends me a picture that I had sent to him on Snapchat from when we were together which I had said “I miss you”. Then I get a message on Instagram saying that it makes him happy I’m happy after a post I put up. In most circumstances I would tell an ex to cut it out, possibly even send through these things to the girlfriend so she can get out but I have to keep the peace. How do I stop thinking about what he’s sent and how do I get over him when he keeps doing this? I thought I was over him but now I’m reading these messages over and over trying to work out what the fuck he is trying to say.


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ANSWER
2 years ago
My ex still texts to say how much fun we had together in the sack. 😂 but i just ignore it mostly or reply with gross haha

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REPLY
2 years ago
😂🤣 I love that response. I think if my ex wrote that to me I’d respond the same way, or something like “maybe it was fun for you but it’s not all about you sweetheart”.

ANSWER
2 years ago
BLOCK THEM

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REPLY
2 years ago
I wish I could but I’ve got to keep him unblocked for text messages to see his daughter (not that he really does, it’s only been twice that he has).

ANSWER
2 years ago
It could be a few things. Maybe he still loves you, maybe he feels guilty or maybe he wants his cake and to eat it too. There is a chance you could be misreading his signals. Youve just had a baby and your hormones are still all over the place. However, you need to know what his intentions are so just ask him. If he's not interested in getting back together then tell him he needs to stop. It's not fair to you, your baby or his gf and in the meantime, do NOT forward anything to her

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REPLY
2 years ago
* ps congrats on your little Angel 💜

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2 years ago
Thank you. You have written exactly what I needed to hear. I did ask him about the photo he sent through and just got a “🤷‍♂️“ back. Now I’m thinking that meant exactly that “i don’t know what I want but I want to have an option if this doesn’t work out”. I guess I just wanted to know more than anything before I tackle the problem without making presumptions. And I 100% agree with not forwarding them, the thought did cross my mind but I decided against it. I don’t want to hurt her, she is probably a very good person who has already put up with bullshit from him.

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2 years ago
^me again. Your ex sounds like an ass. Can i ask why you broke up?

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2 years ago
I’ll try to keep this short. He didn’t want the baby and wanted me to get an abortion, I decided against it while trying to make appointments. After an argument about how unsupportive he was I made the decision properly. Then he cheated on me because we didn’t speak for a couple of days (I was hoping he would say sorry but ended up apologising instead) so I didn’t tell him straight away about my choice to keep the baby. I did tell him a week later and he said it was over because I didn’t tell him earlier and he didn’t want another child. Then every now and then from that moment he’s pulled the miss you and love you cards.

REPLY
2 years ago
After writing and reading all of that I am really embarrassed to be asking this question now. How could I still be worried about what he is thinking or his feelings with telling him to stop?

REPLY
2 years ago
Sometimes people need a little push to do something they need to do. We all need a sounding board from time to time and at least your not being delusional about it. It sounds like you left for the right reason. I think he did you a favour x

REPLY
2 years ago
You’re right with the favour. I was willing to move two hours away to live with him and away from my close family (have family in the area he is in but they aren’t close) before all of this. It’s great to be able to get all of this off my chest. I’ve really realised how lucky I am not to be with him anymore and not having to deal with this sort of behaviour. I’ve written him a letter now to get all of my feelings out which I can burn and it’s like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Thank you for listening to all of my problems. I would be lost without this site sometimes 😂

ANSWER
2 years ago
Oh I feel for you, he is playing with your emotions. Be strong, if a man really wants you he would move a mountain to get to you. He knows he can have you dangling because you let yourself be treated like this. Please stop, you are a wonderful human being who deserves love for you and your baby. Cut this loser out of your heart. You can be collegiate to the baby’s father without him interfering in your life. Get friends with babies for support and date other men. Stop communicating with him digitally.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Thank you. You’re right. We don’t need to talk unless it’s about our baby. I do need to stop letting him think I’m an option to him when he couldn’t even make me a priority when we were together.

REPLY
2 years ago
You deserve the very best !

REPLY
2 years ago
Thank you x

ANSWER
2 years ago
Block him on everything. My ex tried the same thing and I have him blocked on everything. Facebook, Insta, Snapchat, hell i even have his number blocked on my phone so he can't contact me. He turned quite nasty when I threatened to show the messages to his new girlfriend and took it out on our daughter who came home covered in bruises. Now because I already had DV charges against him and was going through court the police refused to take a statement unless I had a medical report to back it up, the doctors refused to do anything without me going to the police first and FACs told me "oh just go to the police, we won't get involved." So I told him if he wanted to see the kids he needed to contact my lawyer because I have completely shut him out. My lawyer hand delivered a letter to him at court in front of police witness saying the same and that if he wanted access to the kids he will go to court. Haven't heard from him in over 3 years. Although he's had about 7 girlfriend's in that time and they all track me down after he cheats on them and beats them up wanting "my side of the story." Nah sorry honey, that's in the past and we're not going to be best friends drinking coffee and bitching about what a douche my ex is. The most recent one even went as far as messaging my partner and tried to get him to tell me to message her because I wasn't replying and had blocked her 🤦‍♀️. Ex's are too much drama. Block them all 😂

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REPLY
2 years ago
Thank you for your advice. I blocked him on Snapchat and Facebook, when I stopped him following my Instagram I got a message of “why do you stop me following you?” Followed by a “I really liked looking at the photos you put up”. He isn’t a violent person so I feel blocking him from contacting me all together would be bad for our baby but if it was the same circumstances as you I would in a heart beat.
I hope you and your daughter are safe and have got the help you’ve needed. It’s deplorable that no services that are meant to protect children would help you.

REPLY
2 years ago
Yes, obviously if you and your child are not in harm's way then you don't need to go to such extremes as I did, but I found that blocking him on everything and only communicating via text helped. If he rang I refused to answer and every time he started the whole "i miss you" thing I would stop replying. I would only talk to him if it was in regards to the kids but he kept going and that was when I threatened to show his new girlfriend. Dont let him suck you back in babe, you are strong and deserve a man who will move mountains to be with you and worship the ground you walk on. Not someone who tells you that he likes your photos behind his girlfriend's back. Accept nothing less ❤

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2 years ago
Thank you. You are such kind person.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Remember why he’s your ex

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REPLY
2 years ago
^^yesssss

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2 years ago
Thank you. I love this advice.

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2 years ago
Just think of it as any dealings with the baby as a business thing. Don't talk personal at at. It's baby info, child support and thats it

REPLY
2 years ago
This is a great idea. Thank you. I will keep contact like that from now on.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Tell his partner

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2 years ago
I’ve thought about it but I don’t want to cause any more trouble with him and I don’t want to hurt her if it is more than just a few messages.