Is it normal for the mother of my step son to buy my husband a father's day gift and put my child's name on it?
Answered 2 months ago
I'm new here, so excuse me if I don't know the lingo...
This is also a multi-pronged issue, so any advice is welcomed!
My husband and I have a 3 year old daughter together, and he's also given me a bonus kid, a super sweet 6 year old son. Things between my husband and his ex are... well... secretly strained. Everyone is in it for the kids, so we all (me, husband, his ex, and her husband) try to get the kids together at times and never fight in front of them. However, when my step son (We'll call him T) was 3 and his mom (A) started dating her now-husband (M), she started having T call M "dada." If it's natural, that's fine, right? But she /made/ T call M dada. However, once T called me "mama" and she threw a fit and told T that I could not love him and he could not love me because I am not his family.
When it comes to my own daughter (Z), A & M are wishy washy. Sometimes they'll let her play with their own 2.5 year old daughter, and other times they do everything they can to separate her. My husband and include all the kids when we go to birthday parties and are just hanging out, but oftentimes my daughter Z is excluded by A & M's control of their own kids.
When it comes to birthdays, father's day, mother's day, etc. things are pretty separate, as A & M would like them to be. Most recently, on father's day, A sent T over with presents to my husband that she had written "From T & Z" on. Mind you, Z is my daughter. This really made me uncomfortable because Z is not her daughter, and also, A keeps Z separated from most family things anyways. It was also a total surprise to me; A hadn't called, texted, or asked at all if Z wanted to give a joint gift with T. It struck my husband the wrong way too, especially when he opened it and it was a sappy keychain with both of their names engraved. I feel this is extremely over stepping and it really pissed me off. I'm willing to let it slide for the good of the kids, but I do not feel comfortable with this happening again.
Have an answer?
Keep things seperate from now on.