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Would you have a baby with a known sperm donor?
Answered 4 years ago
The man in question is physically a good ‘specimen’ but his personality irritates me and he is a bit of a introvert (not that thats a big problem), he is very intelligent but lacks confidence. Im all set to go thru with it, but suddenly had second thoughts based on the chance i may have a baby that annoys me like he does... Opinions please
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ANSWER
4 years ago
OP here, we have decided not to go with the known donor. Its just too risky for me. After having another big chat about it last night we decided that it just wouldnt be fair on the child or on me or the rest of our family.
My husband agreed that perhaps my strong feelings of annoyance/dislike of the donor was infact some biological thing put in place to prevent our genes mixing.
I feel sad and relieved at the same time and a bit lost now about what to do moving forward. But now we have made this decision i can say for sure its right because frankly put - i don’t want that mans baby- when i said this to my husband it changed everything, he doesn’t want a baby with me that i don’t see my husband being the father of.
Life! It’s so hard sometimes!
We are just going to spend some time as our happy foursome before we think of plan B.
My husband agreed that perhaps my strong feelings of annoyance/dislike of the donor was infact some biological thing put in place to prevent our genes mixing.
I feel sad and relieved at the same time and a bit lost now about what to do moving forward. But now we have made this decision i can say for sure its right because frankly put - i don’t want that mans baby- when i said this to my husband it changed everything, he doesn’t want a baby with me that i don’t see my husband being the father of.
Life! It’s so hard sometimes!
We are just going to spend some time as our happy foursome before we think of plan B.
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REPLY
4 years ago
Good for you x
ANSWER
4 years ago
Any "flaws" your child had you'd probably spend your life blaming the donor rather than accepting that this is who your child is. That's not a healthy or constructive state of mind, so personally I'd go with an unknown donor. Are you able to use the same donor as your other children so their medical histories will be the same?
ANSWER
4 years ago
I think its something u and ur hubby should discuss
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REPLY
4 years ago
We have in depth, he feels we should just roll the dice, donors are hard to come by, and of course we will love the child no matter what, my concern is, considering the donor is someone i find irritating and not someone id have a relationship with or child with if i were single, or even a friendship with i guess, is that some deep biological thing telling me not to mix our genes? And if we do could i potentially have a child that as an adult drives me nuts? Obviously this would not be fair on the child, my other two children are also donor conceived, but we did that through a clinic, so while i had quite a lot of info on the donor, i didnt actually meet him and dont know what he is like as a human, so im not able to recognise any personality traits in the kids that may be his, considering ive met the new donor a number of times and i know him, i feel i will be able to recognise his personality traits if they show up and im not sure if that will be a problem for me.
REPLY
4 years ago
Plenty of donors at clinics
ANSWER
4 years ago
His 'flaws' could be learned behaviour and not necessarily hereditary.
ANSWER
4 years ago
My ex had a lot of traits that annoyed me that my son has. Ironically they are the traits I love in my son. The confidence is something that you grow within your child too, so don’t worry about that.
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REPLY
4 years ago
Thanks for your input :)