Try putting yourself first for a while. Massages, yoga, meditation, getting nails done a hit bubble bath - indulge yourself

I look forward to things like holidays right up 7ntil the day of, then i just freak out and worry about everything and just want it be over and to be home again

I could have wrote this post this is what I do too, it awful feeling like this and not being able to stop it 🙁 im sorry you feel this way mabey ser your dr kr mabey talk to someone you trust and be able to talk it out.

I did/do sometimes feel like that. I think as I got older I feel like that less. Xxxxxxxx

Have you tried meditation/yoga? It's not for everyone but may be at least worth a try

You sound quite obsessed with control and perfection. You have a perfect vision of how you want it, but when it gets to D Day , it feels like it’s going to fail so you flip to the other extreme. Try work on accepting situations and interactions. You’re getting worse with age? Ok, thats how it goes right now, maybe something will change. I’d look into EFT and also cognitive therapy personally, those worked for me.

Yes I've always been like this its my normal state. I do have anxiety and depression and ocd and last year diagnosed adhd. Next i will look at asd testing as my kids just getting diagnosed

Talk to your doctor, sounds like anxiety, could be General Anxiety Disorder but you should talk to a qualified professional. IF your doctor tries to dismiss your concerns, says that you just need to worry less, says that women often overthink things, please either tell them that all of that may be so but you'd still like a referral to a therapist (if you're in Australia ask about a "mental health plan" I think it's called, where you can see a therapist for 6 free sessions). If they still dismiss you, see a different doctor, because what you've described above is worse than just "normal" nerves/worry. My SIL sees a therapist and is on medication for her anxiety disorder, and finds the therapist really, really helpful. I hope you find some relief.

Sounds like you have anxiety to me. Have you tried improving any lifestyle factors to see if it helps? Reduce sugar/caffeine/ start exercising daily etc? Otherwise, maybe you should talk to your GP?