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I've not spoke to my husband for 4 days and I don't want to, is it over?
Answered 4 years ago
My husband is a construction worker and likes a few drinks at night at home, he doesn't get violent, he's a happy drinker, he never misses work and pays for everything, he takes care of all bills and fixes everything around the house,
Last week I asked him how many drinks he'd had and he told me 2 beers, I knew he was hiding one and pulled out from under a table a glass of whiskey that he had, "Are you happy now?" he yelled,
He looked me straight in the face and lied about that drink and now I hate him, why he had to drink whiskey in the middle of the week is just too much
he tried to talk to me the next day but I told him that I don't wan't to talk and I don't care what he does anymore,
Have I gone too far?
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ANSWER
4 years ago
From a guys perspective I can’t believe what I read. If he was having 22 beers Id understand. He can’t have three beers and even a glass of whiskey after working all day. Have a good look at yourself.
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REPLY
4 years ago
😆 you're new here aren't you? I appreciate you! 🙌 high five. It seems to be quite common on here for the partners and wives to be very controlling of their other halves behaviour. I'm from a different school of thought that get shouted down on here so it's nice to see someone a bit more like me.
REPLY
4 years ago
Yes but, here's what is common. When people lie about drinking usually they have a drinking problem and are hiding it. She goes on about his drinking personality and drinking is honestly something to be concerned about. Not playing devils advocate and I know there is a drinking culture, but the 22beers should never be comparable to being ok to complain
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4 years ago
I'd say it's more likely he lied because he knew she would have a very strong reaction & he was right. The man just wants to relax. It feels a bit like parent child dynamic.
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4 years ago
And obviously he was joking about 22 beers. Don't be so literal.
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4 years ago
Parent child dynamic? Look who is telling everyone what is going on and how they should react? If someone disagrees it doesn’t mean you have to tell me how to respond or think. The woman was asking for advice- openly. I grew up with a highly functioning alcoholic parent, I stand by what I say.. who’s to know. If my husband was drinking whisky secretly i would be concerned, that beer is not enough and he is drowning out his stress. Op is responding in her own way and is asking for feedback
REPLY
4 years ago
wowed. I haven't even read any of what's been written but whatever it is, it has triggered you too 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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4 years ago
Lol 👍
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4 years ago
No abuse, goes to work regularly, happy drinker, provides everything, she's worried that her meal ticket might kick the bucket
ANSWER
4 years ago
He's a construction worker and I take it you don't contribute any significant amount, what you need to do is stand in the yard with a concrete block or some wood and lift it up and carefully place it down maybe 200 times and then see if you need a few cold ones at the end of the day you lazy controlling b****
ANSWER
4 years ago
Bet he’s loving it
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REPLY
4 years ago
Retard
ANSWER
4 years ago
I am now talking again, he says that the stress of being a bricklayer foreman for a large company can be too much a times when he has deadlines to meet and with covid 19 his job is getting harder with more rules and regulations in place, I know he's a good man but I don't want him to become an alcoholic and damage his health, he needs structure
ANSWER
4 years ago
No update?
ANSWER
4 years ago
Grow up. He’s and adult and can do as he pleases. He sounds like an alright guy and he provides for you and your family. He’s not an ass on the drink. Stop picking fights. He probably lies because you give him a hard time. Who asks their partner how many they have had unless they are being an ass or about to drive a car .... NOONE. Stop riding his ass and let him unwind at the end of a long day.
ANSWER
4 years ago
Is he abusive when you don’t try to control him ?
ANSWER
4 years ago
That is an extreme over reaction. No wonder the poor guy tried to hide it from how if this is how you react. Silent treatments are extremely childish and immature by the way.
Haveimg a few beers and a glass of whiskey a few nights a week is no big deal either, be grateful he hasn’t left you yet over being such a control freak and drama queen
Haveimg a few beers and a glass of whiskey a few nights a week is no big deal either, be grateful he hasn’t left you yet over being such a control freak and drama queen
ANSWER
4 years ago
Yep. Too far. If he was chugging way too much and violent, I could understand, but a few beers and a bit of whiskey?
ANSWER
4 years ago
Please leave your husband so he can find a new wife who will appreciate him. To not talk to him for days and claim to hate him because he had a whiskey is one of the most stupid things I have read on this page.
ANSWER
4 years ago
Yes definite over reaction! I say an apology is in order and I’m sure he’ll apologise too for the lying. But I’m going to take a wild guess and say he hid jt from you as not to deal with your dramatic self and from what you’ve explained of 4 day silence I don’t blame him. I think you’ve both moved away from the initial “problem” ie: drinking whiskey mid week and now it’s become a communication/stubbornness issue. Talk about it, fix it. Every single male I know enjoys a few drinks after a hard days work, I also know a few females who love a wine or 3 whilst cooking dinner. No biggy!
ANSWER
4 years ago
You are super controlling and taking advantage of how hard he works. He ia providing for you you dont work let him have his few measly drinks. Smh.
ANSWER
4 years ago
You are not his boss, his controller or his mother. You are his wife and its NOT your right to tell him how much he can or cant drink. He is a grown man he can maje his own decisions regarding that so long as he isnt avusive which by your account he isnt . He works hard let him have his drinks. Stop being controlling.
ANSWER
4 years ago
Wow. I think you might be over reacting by giving him the silent treatment. He must have been embarrassed that he was caught out in a lie and maybe ashamed of the drinking. Why not be a grown up and talk to him about why it concerns you so much, rather than freeze him out. Pretty petty thing to end a marriage over.
ANSWER
4 years ago
There is no right or wrong way to feel about something like this. If you genuinely think he has a problem talk to him. You can't control what he does, but you don't have to stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Could you suggest counselling?
ANSWER
4 years ago
Holy shit. Let him have a drink! You said yourself he does everything, let the poor man have a glass of whiskey. You sound super controlling.
ANSWER
4 years ago
You’re overreacting! 4 days of not speaking because he lied about drinking a glass off whiskey? Seriously?? Maybe he hid it from you because you think him drinking whiskey midweek is too much. Drinking a bottle of a bottle of it every night would be. One glass after work, no.
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REPLY
4 years ago
Yeah kind of agree with answer. It's a crazy time. Alot of people are anxious about what's going to happen next even if they won't admit it and having a drink is a way to let those worries go. No it's not completely healthy but that's life. Maybe you could talk to him about cutting back. One drink a day or every few days or just on the weekend? Perhaps you could join him - hear me out. Make a time to sit outside in the garden, relax, talk have a drink together, make it a date away from the kids. Just one you don't have to get crazy. He'd probably prefer you were in this with him than against him.
ANSWER
4 years ago
You need to talk to him.
Is his drinking problematic? If yes, he’ll need your support to seek help. If not, let it go.
I see the fact he lied to you about how much he had to drink as a problem, but doesn’t necessarily mean the drinking is a problem. I think there’s more going on and you really to talk it out with him. Listen and hear him out without judging and hopefully he’ll do the same and listen to your perspective too.
Is his drinking problematic? If yes, he’ll need your support to seek help. If not, let it go.
I see the fact he lied to you about how much he had to drink as a problem, but doesn’t necessarily mean the drinking is a problem. I think there’s more going on and you really to talk it out with him. Listen and hear him out without judging and hopefully he’ll do the same and listen to your perspective too.