Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Does anyone's kids have a weird step mum?

My daughters step mum is lovely but my daughter just got back from a visit and told me she has to call me mum ..and then my first name now. She has been asked to call her step mum mum ..first name, it's a bit weird. I understand it's because she has a Bub and is worried the baby will call her by her first name not mum as that's what she hears.

Report

Got an Answer?


Answers (15)

maybe calling step mum 'mum sue' is okay, but calling her real mum 'mum betty' is just weird

Read this twice.. still don't understand it.

 Step mum wants step daughter to call her mum
helpful (0) 

She could have at least ran it past you to see if you were ok with it first

Yeah no that's not really cool, and a new baby is a shitty excuse. I have a toddler and my eldest daughter calls her step father by his first name, guess what my toddler still calls her father dad! It's not good and your ex needs to put a stop to it unless your ok with it.... I'm just really not ok with step parents over stepping the line from past bad experience, my daughter is on her second crazy "stepmum" I'm sure there will be more

I'm a stepmum and the girls dont call me mum. We've talked about it and ive told them they have a mum and im not trying to replace her. They call me by my nickname, and our younger son calls both parents mum and dad. Im sure the girl im currently carrying will do the same.

I do think you should just talk to your ex :-)

Is she aboriginal by any chance? That's pretty common to call close aunties and step mums "mum Mary" or whatever. At least here in the town I live anyway. If it makes you feel uncomfortable or your daughter uncomfortable then try and have a friendly chat about why she can't call her that.

 No. I said its up to her but she can just call me mum.
helpful (0) 

We called my step mum goldie (gold digger) as that's what mum called her. She had an affair with dad and left mum and us to be with her and have two more kids. We were awful to her and often told our step sisters how horrible their mum was for taking our dad. Goldie got the last laugh as we were meant to inherit millions from our dad when she died but she had spent it on her kids.

 your post doesnt make sense, she had an affair with Dad and left mum... what? Of course your dad was 'totally' inoccent in all of this and it was all the evil womans fault... whatever.
helpful (1) 
 This was a child's perspective.
helpful (1) 
 so not relevant to the OP in any way then?
helpful (0) 

I have a step son and two boys of my own. They call me mum. He calls me by my first name and refers to me as mum when talking to them.

No but my step kid's mum is weird- she makes her spag bol using mince, tomato soup and spaghetti. The kids eat like 3 bowls of mine and often ask if i can write the recipe down for their mum- which i wont do coz she'd probs skitz if i implied her cooking was 'poor'. To be fair ive never tried it- but it sounds shit...

 That's outrageous.
helpful (1) 
 I use the dolmio pasta sauces..... Pls tell me that it's not the same as tomato soup, otherwise I'm that step mum!
helpful (1) 
 Spag bowl made with tomato soup is yum if done right
helpful (2) 
 No like tinned tomato soup. I use onion, garlic, mince, bacon, carrot, red capsicum, celery, any vegies i need to use up like beans, snow peas, broc, colly, bok choy, spinach, kale, and yeah i use tinned tomatos and those pasta sauces (whatever is on sale) parmy cheese and afew other bits and pieces like herbs and soya sauce etc... i dunno- i shouldnt judge as i havnt eaten it. Just sounds like jail food (not that if know what thats like either)
helpful (0) 
 My mum and I used to use tomato soup, I don't now as my partner doesn't eat it and my mother has passed on.
Don't knock something unless you have tried it.

helpful (0) 
 I make it with soup too, campbells tomato soup is delicious. Other stuff as well though, not just mince and soup.
helpful (1) 

id never ask or expect my stepdaughters to call me mum. even when they both consider me more of a mother than their own. and obviously theyre older than my own kids yet all my kids call me mum.

My kids call my partner dad because his kids do. They all call me by my first name, because the older kids do. Mine are 3 and 5. His are 7 and 10. I get mum from no one. But I don't really care x

I understand why she said it but its not her place to tell your DD what to call you.

Yeah its weird i had a step mum and step dad growing up and called them by their names and they had children with my parents and their kids called them mum and dad , there was never an issue. My brother has a step son and his wife is step mum to his daughter they get called by first names and bio parents get called mum and dad, the only confusion was my niece called step mum, mum, she was corrected her to her name . If she wants to be called mum name and your ok with it fine, but you are mum.

My daughters step mum is German and asked to be called motty (German for mummy not sure of spelling). I call her mutty so does my daughter lol.

 Great example you're setting for your kid 🙄
helpful (9) 

My kids think they do. They get upset as its cleaning time when they arrive on Saturday mornings. The hate spending the first two hours cleaning up mess they didn't create. They do every thing they can to be as late as possible.