What advice or comforting words do I give my daughter?

Answered 3 years ago

Her friends are all quite high achievers, they will all the sport events, academically smart, pretty etc. I see she is on the verge of giving up. She has always tried her best but is an average kid, she is never picked for anything, which is totally fine with me, but she feels like a failure. She doesn't want to go to school anymore, as she just doesn't feel very included. She has tried mixing with a couple of different groups of friends, but the groups have now merged. Just wanting to let her know that trying your best is absolutely OK and in fact, it is great in my eyes.

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3 years ago

Tell her those things don’t measure the worth of her as a person. It’s not measuring kindness, attitude, emotional intelligence, graciousness, diplomacy, or predicting further success. Tell her some of the most successful adults weren’t high achievers in school. Research the bio of her favourite celebrities or sport stars- you may find some helpful things. Meryl Streep was told she wasn’t pretty enough for Hollywood, JK Rowling’s synopsis of Harry Potter was rejected by several publishers, Einstein failed the entrance exam to a polytechnic school, spielberg was rejected for a university cinema course twice!
Also reassure her she learns a lot by trying and not giving up. That a mark of 25% is much better than a mark of 20% if she’s improving as she goes. And that real friends don’t want to be her friend because of marks.

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3 years ago

Thank you so much, this is perfect. I was really lost for words, aside from empathising 'yeah that really sucks' I didn't know where to from there, so I really appreciate your reply and will be doing this for sure. Thank you.

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