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When do you intervene?

Answered 10 months ago

My little one has been going to the same school since kindy.

I feel she doesn't have any deep friendships or a true friend. I've asked her teachers and they say she plays with her peers at lunch. During drop off and pick up she says hi to her peers and they say hi to her.

In saying that she has only ever been invited to 1 birthday party 2 years ago and I know for a fact there has been plenty of other birthdays for kids she knows/ "plays with".

She doesn't see any of the other school "friends" outside of school.

At what stage should I help her or is it something she needs to do on her own?


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ANSWER
10 months ago
This sounds just like my situation. I think as parents we remember the sting of rejection and at times I know that influences how I react when my daughter misses out on parties and sleepovers. I am hoping the shift to high school will bring her opportunity to meet kids she has a connection with like a previous poster has mentioned.

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REPLY
10 months ago
You're 100% correct.

ANSWER
10 months ago
Just checking, have you held parties and invited others over?

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REPLY
10 months ago
Original poster here. We've had 1 big party when she was 5 and only a few came. Because she's born in the period between Christmas and New year's alot of people are away or busy so we generally just do a small family do.

ANSWER
10 months ago
It's tricky. My miss 15yrs doesn't have any true friends but knows alot of kids. In her 10 years at school she has only been invited to 5 parties or get togethers. She invites kids over or to do thing's with but never has any success. She can be bossy but has a heart of gold and would do anything for anyone. Teachers say she's ok at school but sits alone at breaks. I'm sad for her and she is starting to say she's lonely. I don't have answers

ANSWER
10 months ago
My son (who is now 13) was like that pretty much all the way through primary school. He just didn't have a connection with any of the kids in his grade and didn't go to many parties or anything. It worried us a little bit but he didn't seem too phased by it. He's now in Yr 8 at high school and has a great group of friends and is really happy. Maybe it might just take her a bit of time, but she'll get there. Does she do any extracurricular things like play sport or dance? My kids meet lots of other kids doing that sort of thing too.

ANSWER
10 months ago
If she’s not unhappy about it, or coming home crying or feeling left out then I would just leave it. Being able to fit in with different groups of people is a blessing, and being able to move to different groups. Some children with just 1 best friend really struggle when their friend is not there, or they choose to play with someone else. For this little person she always has someone to play with. To encourage this maybe some after school activities might help? School sports or other clubs?

ANSWER
10 months ago
You can try to arrange play dates or catch ups after hours to help her build friendships. Social skills groups are also good for kids who strugge. You didnt state what her teacher observes. It could also be a number thing or kids just not clicking. In all my childs primary years he went to 0 parties invited to 2. Plenty came to his though so who knows.