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Anal sex

Answered 2 years ago

Before I start I'd like to say that I will ignore nasty or trolling comments. Thank you to anyone that genuinely comments.
I've been left feeling confused with my feelings.
I've been with my boyfriend 10 months. He's on occasion mentioned anal but it's never felt like its a demand. We have sex daily but apart from the occasional change up it's mostly missionary (there is also oral on both sides and occasionally vibrator used on me). Last night we had decided to use a vibrator but the understanding was the vibrator would be used for anal and he would penetrate me vaginally.
But after a bit of warming up the vibrator didn't get used and he penetrated me anally.
I didn't say stop or no so I dont see this as rape.
Continued. ......


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ANSWER
2 years ago
Anal is undoubtably the most intimate act a couple can share. It’s secret. It’s often a fantasy. Yes, it’s kinky too. To a man, it’s the holy grail of sex he can have. If done violently, it’s rape and his cock should be cut off. But if done intimately, it’s a magical act of ultimate commitment. So yes, the very thing that could and should end a relationship forever, could also make it over the top fantastic. Complicated, eh? My husband and I only occasionally have anal coitus, but knowing I’m the only place in the world where he can reach his ultimate fantasy it pretty thrilling.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Shove a cucumber up his arse

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REPLY
2 years ago
^Do I need to peel it first? Wait..... are you a doctor?

ANSWER
2 years ago
I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt here. If you didn’t say anything he could have just thought you were enjoying it. Be open and honest with him. Tell him you want to, if you do, but you want to try a different/better position next time. It’s all about communication.

ANSWER
2 years ago
If it was heat of the moment and you didn't say stop he probably thought you were enjoying it. You should definitely talk about it now so you're both on the same page x

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REPLY
2 years ago
Agreed, you said it was uncomfortable did you try to pull away? Or say anything? He might not of realised you were uncomfortable if it was something new?

My partner is normally really in tune with me and can tell by how I tense or something if it's hurting and will stop and check with me before continuing but sometimes when his close he will move slightly and it can hurt but if I don't say anything he will not pay attention and just go hard until his finished..

Have a talk with him, he might feel horrified that he has made you feel this way but if you don't let him know he might try again thinking you liked it?

ANSWER
2 years ago
If you were obviously uncomfortable as you said yes hes a pig.

ANSWER
2 years ago
You need to talk to him! Possibly he did get caught up in the moment and he assumed you did too. But since it has made you feel this way, he needs to know and clear boundaries need to be put in place. If he is not understanding of that... And if he says he is but it happens again then clearly he has no respect for you and then I’d consider ending it.

ANSWER
2 years ago
My concern though is that I was obviously uncomfortable pain wise but he didn't stop to ask if I was ok or wanted to stop. he lasted maybe 3 minutes before coming.
So I guess what I'm asking for advice on is should I be concerned that he didn't consider how it was feeling for me?
I would have probably continued but maybe in a different more comfortable, slow position.
He's 99% of the time a very considerate, caring and loving partner in and out of bed.
Did he just get caught up in the moment?