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How to deal with it
Answered 5 years ago
This morning my hubby decided he would initiate sex- now we haven’t had sex in 12months because i have had problems with cysts and endometriosis and coz we are having problems including him being a narcissist-
Even though i said no, and stop it he still tried to have sex.
He’s cranky at me now coz i didnt give in to what he wanted.
I feel like shit and dont know how to deal with it or what to do about it
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ANSWER
5 years ago
Op here: i am getting my medical things sorted, but flare up and a few hospital visits lately haven’t helped.
He doesnt want to put anything into the relationship so I stopped having sex, hes still not interested in changes but gets shitty if i dont give in. Today scared me as he was very insistent.
He doesnt want to put anything into the relationship so I stopped having sex, hes still not interested in changes but gets shitty if i dont give in. Today scared me as he was very insistent.
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5 years ago
Get out of there. Your relationship is over, and he won't get sweeter as time goes by. If he was forceful and insistent today, against your wishes, do you imagine that tomorrow he'll wake up and go "oh geez better cut that out". No darling. And if you make excuses now you'll be aiding him in your own misfortune. Another day passes without him having sex, another day of him justifying his behaviour. No means no. It doesn't mean "see how far you can push it incase I change my mind unexpectedly". How would you feel if your daughter came to you saying her husband did this to her? Or if your mum said some bloke from the pub treated her like this?
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5 years ago
I agree with this. This relationship is not fair on either of you.
ANSWER
5 years ago
Could you at least try? I know I probably sound terrible and you're all gonna scream at me but 12 months is too long. Your libido has gone to sleep, give him a chance to wake it up. If my partner went 12 months without wanting sex with me I would take that as they don't find me attractive anymore and the relationship would be over.
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5 years ago
Absolutely no excuse for forcing sex. Even if he’s gone without for 12 months. Giving it a go is not the solution. Physical issues need to be addressed first and foremost. Then probably a sex therapist.
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5 years ago
Maybe he should just leave then.
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5 years ago
12 months with physical issues but not getting it sorted is the same as a man not going to the Dr about impotency. Op go to the Dr and sort yourself out.
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5 years ago
IF his only solution is forcing himself on her then yes he should leave, absolutely. And if she wants to keep him, or have a happy and health marriage then she needs to sort her physical issues out for sure.
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5 years ago
Forcing or initiating? Big difference no?
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5 years ago
‘Even though I said no and stop he still tried to have sex with me’
That sounds like trying to force sex to me
That sounds like trying to force sex to me
ANSWER
5 years ago
Are you saying he started to rape you by continuing with penetration or that he continued to try and persuade you but stopped?
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5 years ago
She said tried to have sex so that would mean the latter
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5 years ago
No she didnt. She said he tried to initiate it, she said no but he tried anyway.
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5 years ago
Did he stop when you said no or are we talking rape? Whether it's been 12 months without sex or not, no means no.
Please seek help about your endo.
Please seek help about your endo.
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5 years ago
I hope that isn't an example of why he is a narcissist
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5 years ago
Is he used to you giving in to his demands? Let him know if he does it again you’re walking out the doir
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5 years ago
Obviously doesn't demand much if they haven't had sex for 12 months
ANSWER
5 years ago
You really should go to a specialist about your endometriosis. If the pain from it is stopping you wanting sex its taking a large amount of pleasure out of your life, to say nothing of the agony you must be in.
If you don't get help from your GP try another. Same with specialists.
This is the sort of thing that often only women doctors are interested in doing anything about, (like incontinence, where most male doctors give you a lecture about "doing your kegels", when there are options that work well, and often if it is really bad, its way beyond what doing kegels will fix).
It must be very difficult for your husband to not have any sex from you. Even if he wasn't a narcissist.
If you don't get help from your GP try another. Same with specialists.
This is the sort of thing that often only women doctors are interested in doing anything about, (like incontinence, where most male doctors give you a lecture about "doing your kegels", when there are options that work well, and often if it is really bad, its way beyond what doing kegels will fix).
It must be very difficult for your husband to not have any sex from you. Even if he wasn't a narcissist.
ANSWER
5 years ago
Blow job?
ANSWER
5 years ago
12 months is along time without sex but just taking you by surprise wasn't the answer to starting to be intimate again explain to him that its not that you don't ever want to have sex again you just want to do it on your own terms not having him just trying to jump your bones cause he suddenly has a urge he seems to be insensitive to your medical issues and his anger would be more about being rejected