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How much does your mum help you?

Answered 5 years ago


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ANSWER
5 years ago
She stayed for 8 weeks for both my kids, actually spent the first 10 hours of labour with me with my first and looked after my eldest for my second.
She has them every Friday night for a sleepover and has done from around 2 onwards.
She comes over whenever I’m sick and I pretty much have never bought clothing for my kids cos she takes them shopping all the time

I speak to her every day. She is my biggest emotional support in my life and I am absolutely terrified of the day I lose her. Not only for my own loss but I have no idea how I’m ever going to tell my children she’s gone. She is their most favourite person in the world, they are as obsessed with her that I still am at 37 lol. she’s loved by everyone who knows her because she’s just the most incredible and inspiring woman.

I’m just so lucky I got to be her daughter

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REPLY
5 years ago
Oh and her and dad also bought us a house and take us on vacation every year with my brothers family’s lol.

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5 years ago
You describe my mum, unfortunately she passed away when I was pregnant with my first child. I hope she sticks around for a long time. xxx

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5 years ago
💔 I’m sorry for that, it would be a Joel in my heart if she never met my kids (much like she has about her mother-whom she shared the same bond with- with her younger children. )
I’m not sure what would be worse, never knowing how painful it is without her or having the joy with the pain, mum often talks about how it took 13 years for one day to go by where she didn’t think of her mum after she died.

Unfortunately she has been given a terminal diagnosis. She might have 2 months or 10 years. We don’t know exactly.

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5 years ago
** never knowing her or knowing how painful it is without her

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5 years ago
♥ it's lovely to have a parent who's a friend

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5 years ago
Love it. Im the same with my mum

ANSWER
5 years ago
Not much, more a reflection of our relationship than her desire to grandparent. She adores our girls & they adore her.

ANSWER
5 years ago
My mum lives the next street over, she would help me with anything at any time but I try not to ask because she is such a busy woman.
She's not very involved with my children, she showers them with gifts rather than time, but she loves them and if we really need her she is there. I go and see her every couple of days, she's really good with advice and to vent to haha

My mother in law lives a couple of hours away and takes our kids for the whole weekend sporadically, she always plans huge fun things for them and takes them to the city or on holidays and will drop her whole life if we need a babysitter. She looked after my newborn for two weeks when I had a medical emergency and had to stay in hospital and because her employer wouldn't give her time off work to do so she actually quit on the spot.

I think the main difference is my mum has 10 grandchildren and my MIL has four but is not allowed to see her other two.


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REPLY
5 years ago
wow lucky you

ANSWER
5 years ago
She probably looks after my kids about once a year (although now that I think about it, it's probably been closer to 2 years since she has watched them). When they were younger I really would have welcomed some help but now that they are older, I don't really need it, I am use to doing it on my own.

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REPLY
5 years ago
same here!

ANSWER
5 years ago
I can count the times my mum has helped me on one hand. If your parents help you never take that support for granted!

ANSWER
5 years ago
I am lost without my mum
She didn’t consult with me before she booked her 6 week holiday

ANSWER
5 years ago
She lives in a different state and is too busy helping my siblings to help me, or even come see us despite us paying for her tickets

ANSWER
5 years ago
My mum hates being knocked out of her routine. Try not to ask too much. She's does help with baby sitting if theres lots of notice (for work) but i try not to ask. She made me feel guilty about asking if could go to a class the other day. Never do anything for myself & when i ask she gets the shits, she said yes but her actions where saying no. So yeah like i said I try not to ask.

ANSWER
5 years ago
My parents are 2.5 hours away. We see them fairly often and they'll take my 3 year old for a few days occasionally (they offer, I don't ask). When here mum tends to do dishes and asks if she can do anything. I always tell her she doesn't need to do housework for us, she's our guest. I try to help her tidy etc when at her house so we help each other out. I don't expect mum to do anything for me.

ANSWER
5 years ago
My mum does nothing but some of that is because she doesn’t drive. If I go away my in-laws will drive my kids to and from school and sports. My kids enjoy sleepovers at my in-laws but not my mums because my mum can’t cook. She also doesn’t clean so her house is disgusting. My mum is pretty useless actually so I don’t ask her for help I go straight to in-laws.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I'm lucky if she turns up to her grandchild's 30 minute weekly swimming lesson on time, she spends the lesson time filing her nails and has the nerve to say she doesn't see her grandchildren enough.
Retired, single,lives 5 minutes away, has literally nothing else to do in her life and still can't even be a decent grandparent.

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REPLY
5 years ago
Sounds like she would rather do something else with them? Maybe she will get more into it when they are older

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5 years ago
This is the only time she actively does anything with her grandchild and has previously gone months without contact. At 74 I don't think she's changing soon.

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5 years ago
Zilch

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5 years ago
ABSOLUTELY zero. She is a narcissist which had hurt so much over the years, especially since I became a mother.

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5 years ago
I think we might have been separated at birth - you just described my mum haha

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5 years ago
A lot.

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5 years ago
So much! She picks up my son from school 3-4 days a week (he has a medical condition and needs adult supervision), has him some weekends to give us a bit of time out. She’s amazing and I don’t tell her enough how much we appreciate her.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Never she's dead and mother in law has nothing to do with us

ANSWER
5 years ago
She doesn’t the afternoon school run twice a week. It’s awesome and we are very grateful.

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REPLY
5 years ago
*does

ANSWER
5 years ago
Help not much - like she always there if we need her and has been in the past but she doesn’t do a lot for us. We don’t really ask much of her, I visit once a week and she visits us on the weekend. Every few months she will take our eldest for a sleepover but that’s about it.

A lot of the things she does it because she wants to - like last week she asked if she could pick my kids up from daycare and spend some time with them and I pick them up from her house after I finished uni.

I’m still grateful for everything she does though because my in laws don’t do anything

ANSWER
5 years ago
A lot

ANSWER
5 years ago
I see her once every few month so not often. But when I do see her, she does a lot with the kids because she misses them.