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I think I might have just been raped. This isn’t really a question I just need to tell someone and I’m too ashamed to te

Answered 2 years ago

I think I might have just been raped. This isn’t really a question I just need to tell someone and I’m too ashamed to tell anyone I know or talk about it to a hotline.

I went to a female colleagues house last night for drinks and to stay the night. There was only me, my colleague, her husband and his friend there. We had a great night and I got really drunk so I went to bed at around 1am. At around 2am I woke up to my pyjama shorts around my knees and someone having sex with me in the dark from behind. At first in my drunken state I thought it was my husband. I even called out his name once or twice. After a minute or 2 somewhere in my brain it clicked that my husband wasn’t there. It was my colleagues husbands friend. I immediately got up, grabbed my stuff and drunkenly drove a few kms down the road and slept in my car til morning. I feel disgusting. I can’t tell anyone incase they think I wanted it. He didn’t pin me down or force me but he took advantage of me while I was passed out. I just want to pretend it never happened. I will get tested for STD’s to be safe but if he gave me something I will have to tell my husband. I’m terrified.


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ANSWER
2 years ago
OP-
So I went to the police last week. After going to a sexual assault counselling, they helped me realise that all of my reasons to not go to the police were not the case. I thought because I came home and scrubbed myself clean that I had washed away any chance of getting this POS for what he did. I thought that the POS would just turn around and say I wanted it and it would become a ‘he said she said’ bullshit scenario and that the police wouldn’t be able to do anything. Turns out it all comes down to consent. I did not consent, I could not have consented - I was drunk and unconscious. And the onus is on him to prove consent. I don’t know what will happen now but I know I did the right thing, I cannot stand the thought of him taking advantage of and violating anyone else like he did me. If he did it to someone else and I hadn’t reported it when I should have I would never forgive myself. Now I wait. But at the same time my husband and I are going through counselling to find a way to move on with our lives so this doesn’t take any more from us than it already has.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Hugs to you babe. Stay strong 💜

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2 years ago
If you go to court get ready to be grilled about your sex life

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2 years ago
I’m so glad you went to police. Who knows, you may have saved my own daughter from this rapist. Thankyou for being brave. Keep going to counselling with your husband. Don’t let the rapist ruin what you have with your husband.

ANSWER
2 years ago
OP-
I just want to say thank you for the *helpful* replies here- they really helped me get through my darkest hours yesterday. As for the shitty replies about “you shouldn’t have got drunk” and “I hope you learned you lesson” (now deleted, thank you moderators)- go f**k yourselves you toxic pieces of sh*t. I didn’t ask for, want, consent to or deserve any of this. I was supposed to have been in a ‘safe’ environment.
I told my husband and my work colleague what happened. The shit hit the fan and the piece of sh*t lowlife scumbag who did this to me has been dealt with. My husband and colleague are being very supportive but this has affected them deeply too. I will be going to the doctors on Monday for tests and to organise counselling to help us get through this. I don’t know what will happen from here but I know I did the right thing by opening up, thanks to some of the advice here, so I don’t go through this alone. I’m scared and angry and a hundred other emotions right now but I/we will get through this.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Good to hear OP. Did you end up reporting it to the police? You really should, if not for yourself then to help protect other people in the future.

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2 years ago
Well done OP. you are a very brave strong women. Make sure you get support and counselling to work through this. There is no quick fix, but sounds like you are taking the right steps. So proud of what you have done xx

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2 years ago
You were very brave and did the right thing. I wish you all the best moving forward with this.

ANSWER
2 years ago
OP - you should be so fucken proud of yourself. I'm sorry it took this incident for you to realize how strong you are but wow. You are amazing. Much love to you and the fam ♥️♥️♥️

ANSWER
2 years ago
I'm so sorry. And agree with above advice. Tell your husband so he can support you and understand. X

ANSWER
2 years ago
Definitely tell your husband and go to the police asap to get proper procedures followed before it's too late, I'm sorry people are so shitty

ANSWER
2 years ago
Darling I am so sorry this has happened to you. It's going to be hard but i think you need to talk to your husband and go to the police together ❤

ANSWER
2 years ago
Omg love please don't be ashamed. Please please please go to the police, stop this man from doing it again. And I suggest you go and get yourself checked. I'm so sorry this happened to you, that is absolutely disgusting. It's not your fault. Please go to the police!

ANSWER
2 years ago
If anything, you need to be straight out honest with your husband. If it comes out later, he may question as to why you said nothing at the time. It will put doubt in his mind. I would go to police with your husband.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Don't be ashamed. It's not your fault. You can't hide this. Those emotions you feel will get the best of you and you will fall apart. You need to tell the police. Tell your husband. Start getting help as soon as possible. This person took advantage of you. You have the right to get drunk. You do not ask to be raped. The person above is an asshole. Please seek help.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Agree with above. You were raped. Please get help for yourself and a consequence for him