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Just moved to my bf's town and it feels like everyone hates me

He was with his ex for 15 years and she lives here too, she does not like me even though she's never spoken to me or officially met me. It's a small town so everyone knows everyone. I get wierd looks and just treated strangely. Like going out for dinner at the local pub and the kitchen hand was an older lady, she brought our meals out and just plonked them on the table without a word but when she brought other meals out she was friendly and asked who's meal was whose. They broke up before I even met him and she was the first to get a new boyfriend so it's not like I have stolen him or looks like I have. The only thing I can get from it is she's telling her mates some great stories. It's just disheartening, I thought it would be easy to make friends here I have lived in small towns before and I loved it, was hoping for the same "village" feeling but I'm just not getting it. So depressed. I can't even buy a loaf of bread without feeling like I murdered someones dog by the looks I get.


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Answers (10)

Keep your head up. It's a small town, rumours abound and like you said, who knows what has been said about you and your partner. I think that you also need to remember that there are two sides to the story and maybe they know things that your partner did that he has not been forth coming with. Be courteous and friendly, they will start seeing you for you.

 I agree with this.
helpful (2) 

Firstly you need to actually murder the bakers dog. Show them early on you mean business. Next your going to have to get the restaurant shut down. Put rats and roaches in the fridge. Teach that bitch not to plonk your plate down. Now you have your enemies scared go for the ex girlfriend who is spreading the rumours. Shit in her letter box and throw glitter in her air conditioning vents in her car. You may think the glitter is going to far but it’s not.
Then run that bitch out of town. Take your place as queen and f**k your boyfriend in the middle of the pub in front of everyone. Show them all who is now boss.

 I love this 😁
helpful (1) 
 This ks the actual best 😂😂😂
helpful (0) 
 Haha. I need more friends like you 😘
helpful (0) 

Honestly, I bet no one really knows who you are.

helpful (0) 

I was in your situation. I had this for a couple of months. Turned out there was extreme DV with the ex that the entire town knew about. He had even spent time in jail for what happened!!!!!
Do your homework, make an effort to make friends. Their issue may well be with him and not you. After my experience I would hire a private investigator before moving in with anyone.
I probably sound extreme but hey just putting it out there 💕

 Definitely no DV, we have been together for 4 years prior to me moving here and he lived with me before I moved here. He does not seem to cop the same looks etc as I do. It's just really strange.
helpful (0) 

It will take time but don't let it get to you. It might be a good idea to invite his ex over for a cup of tea and be the bigger person. Kill them all with kindness

 Don't invite the ex over. Just be nice to everyone, say hi to ppl as you walk through town and go into shops etc and give them a little wave as you drive past. You may have to go out of your way to be that little bit extra nice but it's a small town, eventually things will settle down once they work out the kind of person you are and that you are there to stay. Be the bigger person as the saying goes.
helpful (3) 
 Perhaps also try volunteer to get some local friends? Sounds like you got to start the ball rolling
helpful (1) 

If a waitress is rude make a complaint or leave a bad review

If you are in Queensland you will be accepted as a local after 30 years and his old history will be history. I lived in Noosa in the 1980's and even with a visit, my history is remembered by the oldies.....You got to love it or hate it

 Yep, I know 70 year olds that moved to my hometown in their 20s, married and raised families there and are still not considered locals as they were not born & raised there.
helpful (0) 

Next time you and your partner are out and this happens again ask them what their problem is. Get it sorted ASAP as there would be more lies and bullshit spread around.

I've been there. Different hate but same result. Throw yourself head first into being a member of the community. Volunteer as much as you can, shop local, bake treats and give them to neighbors, church officials, school teachers and admins, the mailperson, trash collector... Smile, be open with your body language, act unfazed by rudeness or coldness... Be nice, helpfuln and generous. They'll come around