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How important is sex to you?

Last night my husband told me he’s not happy in our relationship because sex twice a week isn’t enough. He wants it every night and would prefer twice a day. He also doesn’t like that I don’t wear lingerie to bed. I said am I not good enough as I am? Am I so unattractive that I have to dress up for you? I asked why doesn’t he dress up for me and of course he had no answer to that. We both work, have kids and show affection in lots of different ways E.g. cuddling on couch, holding hands, kissing. He loves me, He just wants more sex. I’m feeling really pressured and insecure now.


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Answers (14)

For me it's the intimacy more than the sex itself. We do it 4 or 5 times a week. He wants more, I want less so this is the meeting point for us. We're always very touchy and affectionate with each other which we both like. I do feel pressured sometimes to have sex more but he accepts a firm no. He would never push it any further than that

Two times a day with kids and work seems really unrealistic to me . Sex daily even seems unrealistic ! You’re not a sex doll for his pleasure only. Good luck mama

Be very careful, mismatched sex drive is one of the key reason men turn to porn, sex chat rooms and infidelity. You shouldn't have to force yourself to have sex with him though. Could you maybe give him oral or similar so he gets what he's wanting without having to go all the way?

 I do that already.
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Start having and demanding sex 3 times a day, when he is the most tired and see if he can keep up and then complain that he doesn't love you lol

I guarantee none if his mates are having sex every day.Ask friends how often they have sex. He think they want to do it that much but the truth is he would have trouble keeping it up.

While I personally think twice a day is maybe unreasonable if you're both busy, but the dressing up in lingerie part? I wonder what that's about!
Personally for me it's important to have that physical connection and intimacy. For example I have had sex about 5 times over 2019 and felt like I had to beg for it each time, and because of this I am really unhappy with my relationship and I feel like I've lost interest in my husband too. If he moved out tomorrow id honestly be like mehhhh.

 ^ shit. Sorry babe. I hope 2020 looks up for you xx
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 Same here x
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2x a week seems healthy! Maybe he is craving affection? Suggest 1 night a week where you cuddle on the couch with a movie etc. If it's the other side and he just wants to use you for a hole then see ya!

 We are very affectionate. Definately the love there. He just wants more sex. We might have it 4 times a week but two on average I’d say. I have a medical condition that has killed my sex drive and he knows that. If he keeps pressuring me then it will have to be “seeya”.
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 ^ I could have written this, right down to a medical condition 🤯
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 It’s not fair hey. I wish I wanted sex as often as him but I just don’t. Sometimes I try as hard as I can but my body just won’t co-operate. He knows this but still thinks if I loved him enough I would get instantly turned on. Sometimes I do it just to keep him happy. But I’m dry and it hurts and he can tell yet still thinks it’s just because I don’t love him enough.
helpful (1) 
 ^I hear ya babe. I love being close to hubby and i wish more than anything I was horny for it but im not. I still do it because he wants to but I'd be happy with it every few months. He says he understands. I try to make it up to him anyway I can with lots of kisses and cuddles. We have alot of love for each other and that will never change. I'm not sure what your illness is but if there is a society for it, get in touch with them and see what sort of services may be available to you. All the best babe xx
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 Thankyou 😊
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I don’t think his request is unreasonable. I would love to wear lingerie but my husband doesn’t care either way, it would be nice to have someone appreciate the extra effort and buy it for me. Sex every day is ok maybe twice on weekends ?

We usually have sex every 2nd night and sometimes evwry night. But if we have had a falling out and dont have it flr aweek or so then we go at it 2 or 3 timea a day to make up for lost time. Thats with 3 kids.

 I have 3 sets of sexy lingere but i enjoy putting on a bit of a show for my husband ebery now and then..
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If like it to be. Bit sadly I just have zero sex drive. We have sex maybe once a fortnight and it obligatory, which isn’t great.

 I know what you mean 😞
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Twice a day seems a lot, I take a while to reach orgasim so it would be hard for us to do that and I'm not one for a wham bam thank you mam- if there's nothing in it for me I feel used. I would love if my husband would buy me lingerie, I crave more passion in our sex but still think I twice a week is pretty good.

I would love 2 times a week but we are about once every 2nd month. I’m really not sure how to compromise on sex when both people need to want it.

It’s pretty important to me so I’d want more than that

Eeek. twice a week sounds really good with kids. Yeah I’d be concerned with the frequency and lingere comment. Has he cheated in the past?