Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

What to do when your 14 year old wont go to school.

As in they just walk off school and leave, or refuse to go to classes, and end up being suspended like every second day because of the truancy.
Changing school made no difference


Got an Answer?

Answers (8)

Look into tafe for your child. Mine left highschool half way thru year nine and went to tafe. She has thrived there. She is now 16 has completed Year 11 and 12 (thru tafe - CGEA) and has completed a Cert. 3 in Early Childhood development, has a full time job and is studying toward her Diploma atm. The Diploma will give her entry to uni.

Your kid obviously hates school and it is not working for her anymore. Dont beat a dead horse. Your kid will probably flourish if they are doing something they actually sant to do and are taken out if the very dated school system.

 ^^sorry about my typing! This site lags so much, its difficult to answer anything. The bottom line is, give up on highschool and go to tafe.
helpful (1) 
 I love this comment.
helpful (0) 

What do they want to do? Can they start making steps to that?
I homeschool my two of mine but it’s very much a meet your markers and do as you please.
One never went to high school and she has worked at a hairdresser since 14. But shadowed and swept at 13z And has been saving for two years and learning cutting to turn a room we have in our house into a salon. She’s just started to learn eyelashes and nails too to have numerous options.
The other is 14 and wants to be a pro surfer. He’s just left school. (He didn’t go back this year)
He is a talented artist too so he will be pouring time into that.
At a certain age I have to listen to my kids wants and needs.
My other daughter Is still in high school as she wants a university education and wants to go into denristry. (Her twin is the hair dresser)

My whole philosophy is to trust them where I can and pull back when needed.
As a result my kids have rarely rebelled.

Is he miserable at school?
Does he have skills and talents being suppressed? What does he think? What does he have to say? Can you find and agreement or compromise?

Try to get the school to work with you. The school I went to would give inschool suspensions for truancy rather than send students home and basically rewarding the behaviour. They were also extremely flexible with timetables and classes to help students stay interested in school for longer. And as mentioned above, try to get them to some kind of counselling to see if there is any underlying problem or if it’s just a matter of them having a different learning style than sitting in a classroom. If that’s all it is, look into trades and discuss with the school doing a school based apprenticeship in the future. Then you can use this as a bargaining chip.

Cut off the PlayStation take away his devices. Sit him down have an adult conversation about leaving at yr 10 and start looking for apprenticeships together now. Everyone is different and he might be ready for a job and earning money.

First of all find out what the problem is, perhaps organise counseling for them if they don't want to talk to you about it. You yourself could also speak to a youth worker or parenting coach to get some tips.
Try taking them past a low SES neighborhood and let them see how people with low education and low income live... Shock factor....

At my kids high school, there is no way in or out of the school without going through the front office and the office staff pushing a button to open the doors. It's very securely fenced and gated - this is only in recent years though. I went to the same school and it had no fencing! I think it's actually partly to stop vandals getting in on weekends and damaging stuff. Have had windows etc smashed a few times.

Spend a couple of days at school with her, sitting right outside her class. She won’t want you to be doing that in the future.

 Tried this, but just ended up walking off the school premises when there was a class change. She does counselling and the school are really trying to keep her engaged but she's so adamant she's not going to school. Or she just walks aimlessly around the corridors by herself not attending class
helpful (0)